When Jeff and his girlfriend broke up last October, he felt all the pain you can imagine — the longing, the regret, the sadness. They were all compounded by something that made it all almost unbearable. Jeff was lonely.
“I’ve been living in New York City for years,” he told me this week “I work a solitary job. I had been living with my girlfriend. It just felt like I lived in this city with all these people, but I didn’t have any close friends.”
It was during one sad walk through a park near his apartment that inspiration struck. “I saw fliers posted for stuff like mowing lawns and moving vans. I figured why don’t I put up one with a simple, bold message.”
That’s how Jeff Ragsdale came to post this: “If anyone wants to talk about anything, call me. (347) 469-3173.” He signed it, “Jeff, One Lonely Guy.”
He thought he might hear from 20 people and half of those would be crazy.
Instead, he’s been overwhelmed by the response.
“I’ve gotten over 65,000 calls and text messages,” he told me, still amazed.
He never expected that folks would take pictures of his flier and post it online. He’s heard from people as far away as Russia, Australia and Taiwan.
The thing is, in his desperation to cure his loneliness, Jeff made an amazing discovery. Turns out, he’s not alone. A lot of folks feel the same way.
“Forty percent of the people I hear from have their own challenges and just want someone to talk to, someone to listen,” he shared. He’s happy to oblige.
“And I’d say 60 percent who reach out offer to perk me up or give advice.”
“What do they say that helps?” I asked.
“The main one is that time does heal,” he shared. “A lot of folks also told me to keep myself busy after the break up.”
His public phone number has taken care of that. Some days he’s on the phone 16 hours and still can’t keep up. How amazing is that? The Lonely Guy has more people than he could possible talk to.
He clearly stumbled onto something. The calls have been turned into a book, “Jeff, One Lonely Guy,” where he shares the most meaningful and helpful calls and texts he’s received.
After all, he says he’s learned things that would’ve never occurred to him. Turns out that happy feeling he’s been longing for isn’t locked up inside of the girlfriend who left or even on the other end of a phone line. “Happiness needs to come from inside,” he told me.
It’s something he’s working on.
“I’m definitely less lonely now,” he offered. “I think I’ll always be a little bit lonely.”
Maybe you can relate. If loneliness is the obstacle you face, Jeff suggests you try something bold. Get out of your comfort zone. Or if you feel like it — give him a call. (347) 469-3173. There’s someone on the other end who knows how you feel.
Daryn Kagan is the creator of DarynKagan.com. She is the author of “What’s Possible! 50 True Stories of People Who Dared To Dream They Could Make a Difference.”
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