Why do I bother watching the Oscars?

Time to roll out the red carpet and polish the shine on the gold guy. The last and probably biggest awards show of the season is this weekend.

Not to mention the longest.

While it’s the high-profile benchmark of its kind, I can’t help but wonder why watching Hollywood’s four-hour annual celebration of its own feels like twice that long.

I used to actually enjoy watching the Oscar Awards to see stars I liked and to root on the films I thought were the best in a given year (even if they’d never win the big awards). Nobody forces me to watch, but I still do, like some kind of penance.

The Grammys take forever, as well, but there’s one thing it does the Oscars should follow its lead with. There are numerous lesser-profile awards given prior to the big ceremony, allowing for more performances and special tributes.

Yet for some reason, the Oscars continue to trot out the award for Best Original Short Documentary Lively-Animated Foreign Feature. OK, that’s a mash-up of titles, but they all kind of blend together, don’t you think?

Although I get amused seeing the one award recipient who speaks first and takes all the time and the other poor guy starts to talk only to hear the band fanfare and it’s on to the next award/commercial.

And to this day I can’t understand why Sound Editing and Sound Mixing are two different categories, although four of the five nominees are the same. Call it Best Sound and be done.

Then there’s the awkward pairings of star presenters and the comedy bits that are usually more forced than funny. At least the Oscar’s doesn’t stoop to the level the Grammys did by hauling out its network’s stars — I’m looking at you LL Cool J, Stephen Colbert and Kaley Cuoco.

I know he was once a rapper, but LL has got to be the most boring (safe) host out there, yet they keep bringing him back. Wouldn’t Keith Richards or Kanye West be out-there choices?

That’s something I don’t think we’ll need to worry about with Chris Rock as Oscar host. I knew he did his job well back in 2005 when he got the always uptight Sean Penn annoyed.

But there’s always some magic in there. I felt local pride watching John Legend accept the Best Original Song for “Glory” in 2015, which he co-wrote and performed with Common.

In between pondering how “Mad Max: Fury Road” and something called “Carol” got so many nominations, I’ll be rooting Sylvester Stallone to take Best Supporting Actor for “Creed.” Hey, it’s Rocky Balboa, a character I grew up with and the one he’ll always be associated with.

That 4.5 hours would be worth it just to hear him say something like, “You, Adrian, I did it!”

Other than that I’ll predict “The Revenant” has a big night, taking Best Picture, Best Director and Best Actor for Leonardo DiCaprio, although it wouldn’t surprise me if he didn’t get it, as there’s just some actors they seem to pass over and he’s one of them.

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Contact this contributing writer at bturner004@woh.rr.com.

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