My husband and I managed to “escape” the cold for a quick trip to Florida at the end of February.
Now don’t hate me for this. You see, karma has already taken care of that.
We were in Key West when they set the record for their coldest recorded day in February, and we returned with a suitcase of summer clothing still clean, folded and unused. Yes, it was still warmer than here and for that I am very thankful. However, it was a bit disappointing to watch a Key West sunset bundled up in heavy coats with our backs to the wind.
On the way home, when we stopped to visit my aunt and uncle near Tampa, something really weird happened.
It was evening and I was in the guest bathroom. When I stood up I noticed something wrong with the toilet seat. Apparently the automatic cleaner attached to the side of the bowl had somehow become attached to the seat. I bent over for a closer look … and it looked back at me.
Now there are times when you do not want to see a face and that was one of them. I do not know how I got the nerve to lift the seat. After all, I had heard the stories of snakes traveling through the sewer systems in the tropics. But I think curiosity got the best of me.
I lifted the seat to find there attached, the largest olive tree frog I had ever seen. I screamed. The frog jumped over my head and attached itself to the door. I screamed again.
My husband came to my rescue. When he opened the door, the frog jumped over my head again as I ran into the hallway and collided with my uncle, who was wondering what in the world was going on.
Using the suction cups on the ends of its fingers, Kermit attached itself to the top of the shower stall 10 feet away with my husband in pursuit. He caught it.
Kermit’s body was as big as my husband’s hand. It looked like a tree frog I remember on a National Geographic cover but bigger. We found out that Kermit was the dreaded Cuban Tree Frog, an invasive species known for a toxic slime over its skin. My husband released Kermit back into my uncle’s tropical garden unharmed and spent considerable time trying to remove the toxic secretions from his hands.
I imagine Kermit told the other tree frogs to stay out of that crazy house with the screaming woman.
I had trouble sleeping that night for some reason, and restrooms in Florida made me nervous the next day. Of course, now my friends and relatives keep sending me photos of snakes and spiders in toilets. I’m half afraid to get on Facebook.
So don’t hate me. I have been punished for my attempted escape of winter.
I am now happy to be back in frozen Ohio, where the tree frogs are much smaller and happily hibernating.
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