It’s paramount that as boomers, we understand what’s in the hearts of our children. As our roles continue to change with our aging parents, we can prepare and expect the roles to also change with our children. It’s a scary thought to not put our faith into action through preparation.
Jennifer Hughes of Troy shared her concerns of being a young wife of eight years, a mother of three small children and a daughter of baby boomer parents.
“My parents are not together,” Hughes said, “but I have a great relationship with both. My father has his aging process in place, and we are working jointly with other siblings of our father’s children. We are prepared. “But my challenge is with my mom. She was laid off once, and if it happens again, there are no other siblings to share in the responsibility. Being an only child, my concerns as she ages are with her long-term care and with the uncertainty if she will have Social Security to assist her financially.”
Hughes shares her thoughts and concerns about her parents’ future:
Q Jennifer, have you discussed your concerns with your mom?
A No. We have not talked about it. Nor have I thought that far ahead, because she is still young.
Q Will you share how your father has steps in place for the future?
A My dad is almost 70 and with other siblings, it’s pretty much set up. The will is in order, and the power of attorney and the life insurance is planned out.
Q Have you discussed with your mom any such preparation?
A A little, but either it’s been avoided or I am not thinking of it.
Q Have you spoken with your husband of the possibilities of assisting your mom?
A My husband, Bob, has the same belief system to honor our parents as we can. We both work full-time jobs with three sons: Layton, who is 5 years old, and twins, Garrett and Memphis, who are 3 years old and in full-time day care. It would help to know that my mom’s wishes were written down in a notebook and in a safe place. Things of this nature are a hard subject to discuss.
Q Describe your parents and Bob’s parents roles as grandparents.
A They are great. My mom helps out a lot. My mother-in-law shares with me problems with other young parents of how they are practically raising their children's children, which has added more stress.
Q How's your relationship with your mother- and father-in-law?
A It's pretty good. I do not see them that much. If I need some advice, like when the kids are sick or when we are about to purchase a major appliance, we call on them to get what they think.
Q What advice would you give to baby boomers who are parents?
A To communicate their needs and wants for the future. To help us know how they want things to go in order to eliminate or avoid bickering if there's more than one sibling. If it's hard to talk face to face, write it down in a notebook and let at least one person know where it's located. We need to know the type of medical and life insurance, if there's any, and if there's a family lawyer. Finally, we need to know where there's one place to go to for all important personal matters.
Draw on faith for help
As baby boomers, it’s one thing to assist and work out our own parents’ needs, wants and desires, but at the same time we have a responsibility to ourselves and our children to become prepared for our future.
In the word of God, we read that ants prepare and that they were weak also. If God used their story in regards to preparation, then it’s great wisdom for us as mature, strong boomers not only to think about what our needs, wants and desires are, but also to communicate them or write them down — as it’s a principle from the word of God to also do these things for not only our benefit, but for our children.
Tonya Lee Carrie Fancher is founder and artistic director of God’s Freedom Fighters International, Inc. A non-profit 501-c-3 ministry, an advocate for the freedom and liberty of high-risk teens through mentorship. She can be reached at tonyaleecarriefancher@gmail.com
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