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Dear Tom and Ray:
I read your column all the time and value your opinion (especially if you side with me!). My husband (whom I call Bubba, if you are interested) frequently will stop to let someone else go first at intersections, when he is the one with the right of way. He feels he is being polite, but I, on the other hand, think it just creates confusion and slows the flow of traffic. What do you guys think? Thanks for listening to my troubles! — Anita
TOM: Does Bubba only do this when the other driver is a cute young woman? Because if that’s the case, we might have to side with him.
RAY: You’re right, Anita. One of the keys to making this whole driving thing work is predictability. You need to be able to predict, for instance, that an oncoming driver is going to stay in her own lane as she drives past you.
TOM: You need to be able to predict, with certainty, that the person making a left turn across your lane is going to wait until you pass. Not that you don’t keep an eye on him just in case he’s a moron or on the phone, but we rely on that predictability to prevent chaos and keep traffic moving.
RAY: So when Bubba violates the expectations of other drivers, even if he’s just trying to be nice, he’s increasing unpredictability. And that means someone else on the road may be surprised by what’s happening. Which can cause an accident.
TOM: Here’s an example: You’re driving down the road, and someone’s trying to exit a driveway. You decide to be nice, so you stop and wave the person out. That’s thoughtful. But the person behind you has no idea that you might stop in the middle of the road for no apparent (to him) reason, and he smashes into the back of your car.
RAY: Well, legally, it’s his fault for not noticing that you stopped. But you created an unnecessary, and unpredictable, hazard. The right thing to do would have been to drive by, and let the driveway dweller pull out when the road was clear of traffic.
TOM: That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be nice to each other on the road. We should! When there’s a choice that’s not dictated by right of way, or when no other moving vehicles are going to be affected, by all means, do the nice thing. Anything we can do to decrease the number of middle fingers flying on our roadways is worth doing.
RAY: But tell Bubba that when he has the right of way, he should take it so that he doesn’t confuse other drivers. And if he wants to flirt with young women at intersections, tell him we suggest a nice, warm smile as he drives by. And the universal hand signal for “Call me later.”
Can turn signal volume be turned up?
Dear Tom and Ray:
My dad is older (87) but is still a good driver. However, his hearing is not very good. When he uses his turn signal for a gentle turn, and it doesn’t shut off by itself, he can’t hear it to turn it off. He just bought a 2010 Honda Element (his second one). What is the best way to make the signal louder so he can hear it? By the way, if this works, it would solve two problems: It would make the turn signal louder, and it would make my mother quieter. You see, right now she is the one who hollers at my dad to turn off the signal (smile). — Nancy
RAY: So, let’s see if I have this right. He can’t hear the turn-signal flasher. And he doesn’t notice the blinking light on the dashboard. So he can’t hear and can’t see, but he’s still a good driver. OK, gotcha.
TOM: One obvious concern is that if he can’t hear the flasher and can’t pick up the blinking light, he may be missing other things as well. And since hearing and seeing both are crucial to driving, you should take a fresh look, and make sure your dad’s really aware of everything that’s going on around him on the road.
RAY: If the issue really is just hearing, and hearing aids have not helped the problem, you can check with your dealer. The blinker noise is made by the actual flasher unit itself -- completing and then breaking the circuit. In the old days, flasher units were pretty interchangeable. But now they’re specific to individual cars. So only your Honda dealer would know if another, louder flasher unit from another model would work in the Element.
TOM: If you hit a dead end there, and I suspect you will, you’ll have to improvise a bit. One possibility is to buy one of those wireless baby monitors. Tape the microphone part of it under the dashboard near the flasher, and secure the receiver to the headrest next to what? Dad’s ear! Then he can turn it on when he’s driving and adjust the volume to hear the blinker, or turn it louder if he’d rather hear the engine than Mom.
RAY: But before you help him keep driving, Nancy, make sure he can hear an emergency vehicle coming up behind him, or the horn of another driver who needs to warm him of an impending collision. If he can’t hear those types of sounds clearly and reliably, the turn signal is small potatoes.
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