A Who says I’m out of retirement? I am semi-retired. No more lost and destroyed luggage. No more too soft/too hard hotel beds. No more restaurant-induced indigestion. And what’s wrong with my mug shot? Unlike my passport photo and my Ohio ID photo, my blog photo looks like me, much to my chagrin.
Q I like your proposal for three replay challenges per game in baseball, but what do you propose if a manager challenges a call and loses? In the NFL, you lose a timeout. — Mark, Bloomington, Ind.
A Personally, I believe the NFL rule is a bad one. Why should a team lose a timeout if it loses a challenge? They only get two challenges a game (three if the team’s first two challenges are correct), so what’s the big deal? The point is, get the call right. Why should any team benefit from a missed call? Judging by the way calls have been missed during this year’s baseball playoffs, I’m close to screaming, “Let the managers challenge as many calls as they want.” My dog, Barkley, would miss fewer calls than these umpires are missing and he’d work for biscuits.
Q What was the best prank you ever saw by baseball players? — Donald, Fort Worth, Texas
A Lots of them. There was the time pitcher Scott Scudder put Norm Charlton’s new baseball shoes in a bucket of water and froze it so that the shoes were encased in a block of ice. In retaliation, Charlton and Rob Dibble took all four wheels off Scudder’s Jeep, put the Jeep on cement blocks and the four wheels on top of the car. And there was the time Randy Myers killed five water moccasin snakes in a retaining pond at the spring training complex, put them on a shovel and walked through the clubhouse carrying the serpents as players scattered, some of them scrambling to the tops of their lockers.
Q If a ball hits the foul pole, it is fair. Why don’t they call it the fair pole? — Chris, Newport, Ky.
A For the same reason you park in a driveway and drive on a parkway. Who knows? Somebody once told me the foul pole was invented by Fred Foul, hence foul pole. I don’t think I believe that one.
Q I took your advice and went to the Saloon Steakhouse in Chicago. Now I’d like to know some of your other favorite restaurants on the road. — Steve, Dayton
A These are the Hal McCoy/Duncan Hines Five Star restaurants, starting with the Saloon. Charlie Gitto’s in St. Louis, Scoma’s in Sausalito, Cathay House in San Francisco, Jim’s Cheesesteaks in Philadelphia, Hal’s Steakhouse in Atlanta (I am not part-owner), Donovan’s Steakhouse in San Diego, Big Bowl in Chicago, Rocky Mountain Diner in Denver, Pappasito’s in Houston and, of course, Fives Guys & Fries in any city in America.
Q Since the Dodgers defeated the Cardinals, I’m wondering if the LA pitchers got their pine tar from Bronson Arroyo and the Reds? — Jack, Dayton
A That late-season controversy was more overblown than a balloon about to burst. St. Louis pitching coach Dave Duncan and manager Tony LaRussa said that Cincinnati’s Arroyo was putting pine tar on the baseball to get a better grip. Here’s a thought. Batters are permitted to put pine tar on bats to get a better grip. So why can’t pitchers use pine tar for a better grip on the baseball? Seems fair to me, and this answer just gave me free passage into the Pitchers Union.
Q Can you explain to me what pitching from a stretch means? I’m guessing it means the pitcher is behind in the count. — Anita, Dayton
A A pitcher might be pitching from the stretch when he is behind in the count, but he might be pitching from a stretch when he is ahead 0-and-2. Pitching from a stretch means a pitcher does not face home plate and does not pitch from a full wind-up. With a runner on base, a pitcher turns sideways so he can keep an eye on the runner and more easily throw to the base in a pickoff attempt. To further complicate matters, though, some relief pitchers work out of the stretch on every pitch, even if there are no runners on base. Next week: explaining the infield fly rule in 1,000 words or less.
Q Which Hall of Famer will retire and stay retired first, Hal McCoy or Brett Favre? — Harley, Pittsburgh
A If somebody offers me millions (or even one million), I’d be out of retirement before the first pension check. Since that won’t happen, I’m retired from full-time work, but not retired from writing. And I don’t have to avoid blitzing linebackers, just split infinitives.
Q As for new Reds pitching coach Bryan Price, all you need to know about the quality of this man is that when Arizona fired manager Bob Melvin, Price walked away when he didn’t have to do that. — Gary, Mill Valley, Calif.
A While I endorsed Ted Power, I’m willing to see if the Price is right. I’ve heard nothing but good things about him from baseball people I respect. Of course, what I know about pitching is that if you have to duck after every pitch you aren’t very good.
Q Do you know who the Reds received as the player-to-be-named-later when they traded David Weathers to Milwaukee? — Dan, Dayton
A I hate that term, “Player to be named later.” Hey, the player already has a name. His mom and dad gave it to him when he was born. Shouldn’t it be, “Player to be identified later” or “Player to be acquired later?” Anyway, no, that player hasn’t yet been identified or acquired. If you are expecting Prince Fielder or Ryan Braun, you probably believe you’ll win the Mega-Lottery next week. The Reds most likely will receive a minor-league player you won’t recognize. They also could receive cash, which the Reds have in short supply.
About the Author