The concepts of giving and philanthropy are emphasized year-round at the Bombeck Family Learning Center, the Early Childhood Education Demonstration School of the University of Dayton’s School of Education and Allied Professions, but early childhood curriculum and field specialist Joy Comingore notes that there is no better time than now to emphasize those ideas.
“The holidays are made to order for modeling ways we can give,” Comingore said. “And when kids see that we’re taking the time, making the effort and spending money to help others it becomes important to them as well.”
While children are sometimes labeled as egocentric, Comingore sees daily examples of their compassionate nature, even in the infant room.
“Someone will start crying, and you will see a little friend go over and hand them something to soothe them,” she said.
Teacher and behavioral consultant Scott Ervin agrees that it is never too early to teach concepts like giving and generosity.
“I would say 99 percent of adults underestimate children’s ability to do most things, they don’t give kids enough credit,” Ervin said. “But kids aren’t going to be empathetic or understand giving unless they are given the opportunities to learn it.”
Do as I do
Modeling is critical component for children to effectively learn concepts such as giving.
“Children will see what we model and those behaviors can become an integral part of who they are,” Comingore said. “And the holidays offer tremendous opportunities to do special things for others.”
Dayton mom Elaine Bonner and her family have participated in various adopt-a-family programs for the past eight years. The lessons her children have learned have been invaluable.
“I think they can learn so much when seeing how other people live and seeing what some of them request for Christmas — like socks and underwear. These are things we generally buy when they are worn out,” Bonner said. “It’s a great gesture to purchase and wrap gifts, but to connect with an actual family and see how grateful they are is priceless.”
While West Milton mom Julie Shelley has felt the financial strain of being the sole breadwinner since her husband died a few years ago, she still makes giving a focus for her family.
“We always take time to put together food items for our church to give to the local FISH organization,” Shelley said. “You can always find someone who lives in a position that is worse than your own to share something with around the holidays. It makes all of us appreciate what we do have.”
A family project
Modeling is part of the equation, participation is the other part.
“You want to make it a family activity,” Ervin said. “You want to create a situation for your child so they have the opportunity to be generous.”
Ervin, also known as the Kid Whisperer to fans of his blog and Facebook page, suggests that children spend their own money to buy an item to be donated to a food or toy drive. Comingore suggests that children also help weed out their toy box and closet to select items to donate to a local shelter.
“Many of the things we suggest require as much work of the parent as the child, sometimes more, but when children see the adult to take the time, they see that it is important to their parent,” she said.
Xenia mom Lisa Rogers enlists the help of her grandchildren during the holiday season.
“Every year, I have my grandchildren go through the cabinets and donate canned goods to the needy. The reason I allow my grandchildren to select the foods is because it makes them feel a part of the solution and they have learned to pick foods that both children and adults would like to eat,” Rogers said. “My granddaughter enjoys it the most. Sometimes, I think she would give everything we have to help others.”
A habit of giving
Raising philanthropic children means extending these behaviors long after the Christmas tree is down and the ornaments are packed away.
“If we develop a sense of community and responsibility toward each other year round, at the Christmas season, it is easy to help children expand their giving to those they do not know,” Comingore said. “They already have an understanding that they are a part of a bigger group and have responsibilities to care for others.”
Comingore suggests that parents utilize what she refers to as self-talk, explaining what you are doing to your child as you do it. Explain that you throw out the old bread to take care of the birds, that you recycle to help the environment and that you drop off the box of clothes to the shelter to help those in need.
“Then they will begin to see beyond themselves as part of the world,” she said.
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