Smart Mouth: Prom dress craze all about style

@@facebook=

@@

From Beavercreek to Tipp City, giddy girls are wiggling into figure-hugging frocks that may or may not drive their Moms crazy and freak out their Pops.

Yep, it’s prom season in the Miami Valley and some no-longer-so-little girls still are hunting for that all-important prom dresses.

I was reminded of the prom season frenzy after popping into Price Stores in downtown Dayton to find a gown for a recent event and ran smack into a wall of senior girls and battle-scarred moms.

Mother’s mission: Make sure she doesn’t look like she should be singing “Lady Marmalade” at the Moulin Rouge.

Daughter’s mission: Gitchi gitchi ya ya da da.

I fall somewhere in the middle on the risque prom dress issue.

If you’ve got it, flaunt it. But, wait a minute: You don’t have to show every flaunt you’ve got.

Looking good on prom night is mission critical.

Look what Molly Ringwald went through before netting still-a-sexy-beast-after-all-these-years Andrew McCarthy in the ’80s classic “Pretty in Pink.”

I know the importance of looking ultra-sassy on prom night first hand and now will flashback to my own prom look — gold spray painted finger-waved hair, gold lame’ mullet dress (short in the front and long in the back), gold fake fingernails and solid gold pumps.

I was a tremendous metallic force of nature.

My classmates couldn’t ignore the life size Golden Globe award-crazy dancing with her nice-guy next door neighbor. I am still glad I wore the dress, but 100 years later, it’s not all that important.

My semi-vampy vision constructed by my mother’s good friend, now hangs in my closet near my wedding dress. The wedding dress still fits (still technically a newlywed).

The prom dress is another story.

It could make an awesome neckerchief, but that’s about it.

Needless to say, there is not enough wiggling in the world to make it fit.

So to all the girls on the prowl for perfect prom gowns I say: Take heart.

Don’t drive your Mom and Dad too far up the wall and remember that while the fit of your prom dress will not last forever, your prom pictures will.

Contact this columnist at (937) 225-2384 or arobinson@DaytonDailyNews.com.