This is the case despite the fact that coworkers have tried to explain drafts, leagues and statistical calculations.
I only perk up when I hear names like “Reggie Bush” and “Tony Romo” in hopes the conversation will drift into something interesting. Perhaps a discussion of Jessica Simpson’s wig line, something about Kim Kardashian’s eyebrows or Tom Brady’s flowing Farrah Fawcett Faberge Shampoo hair.
From what I gather, fantasy football (really all the fantasy sports — fantasy basketball, fantasy pole vaulting, etc.) has something to do with gambling and everything to do with nerdery, which I wholeheartedly support.
Nerds, even those who know who (insert name of famous current football star) is, should be supported.
This is why I am introducing a league I can get behind.
In the name of Lwaxana Troi and for the betterment of the nerd nation, I have elected myself commissioner of this new and exciting international league.
Drafting for the NFA — National Federation of the Annoyed — begins immediately so whip out your No. 2 pencils and little pieces of scrap paper.
Based on the principle that one sees 600 annoying things before morning tea, NFA will ultimately have fantasy teams from California to Calcutta, all hoping to win valuable prizes like toaster ovens.
NFA works really simply when you think about it.
Assemble your team of annoying people.
Underwear-showing pants saggers, litter bugs, loud talkers, over-enthusiastic fantasy football players and parents who walk their kids on leashes are already on my team, so back off.
(We’re going to the Super Bowl, but probably not.)
Give yourself like a million points every time you run in to someone on your team.
Doing so isn’t exactly a fantasy, but neither is not doing it.
Contact this reporter at (937) 225-2384 or arobinson@Dayton DailyNews.com.
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