For some at the holidays, loss is the Grinch

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“How the Grinch Stole Christmas” was never a favorite holiday show of mine, being a “Rudolph” girl myself.

But it never fails, year after year, I find myself watching, just to make sure Cindy Lou Who and family help the Grinch realize what Christmas is all about. I used to keep a wary eye out in case the green-faced sourpuss ever tried to visit my house.

Well, this year, he did. In June. On a warm summer night with the stars shining brightly, the Grinch stole my Christmas when Mom passed on.

And just like the Faith Hill song from the Grinch movie, “Where are you, Christmas?” I can’t find it.

Mom was from Germany. She met Dad while he was stationed there. They fell in love, he brought her over here, they got married, and had my sister and me, and eventually four grandsons.

She left her family to make a new one, but brought Christmas traditions with her. She would sing “Silent Night” auf Deutsche this time of year. Not very well, but we didn’t mind when she’d launch into “ Stille Nacht, Heilige Nacht!”

After a glass or two of wine, she would tell stories of her childhood. She taught us to make “stollen” bread and tried to get us to like fruitcake, to no avail.

Every Christmas Eve, she would make German potato salad and serve it with Würstchen and hot mustard. Afterward, we’d play some heated board games, Mühle and Lieblingsspiel. Mom would never let anyone win, even the boys.

But the Grinch stole it all, down to the last crumb of fruitcake.

Faith sings, “I’m not the same one, see what the time’s done. Is that why you have let me go?”

I went to visit Mom’s resting place this week on my birthday. She would always say, “I was there, so it’s my day, too!”

Through a haze of tears, I decorated with the things she loved: poinsettias, candy canes, angels and snowmen. Every year she would give me a reindeer ornament. This year, I gave one to her.

“My world is changing, I’m rearranging,” I hear Faith in my head. “Does that mean Christmas changes, too?”

At the end of the TV movie, the Grinch has an epiphany, “The joy of Christmas, stays here inside us, fills each and every heart with love.” His heart grows three sizes that day and he brings back everything to the Who’s, but he can’t bring Mom back to the Wilson’s.

Maybe one day, we will find Christmas again, the way she would want us to. For now, Mom, “Schlafe in himmlischer Ruh, Schlafe in himmlischer Ruh.” (“Sleep in heavenly peace. Sleep in heavenly peace.”)