The latest “look at me because I’m so wonderful” moment in the NFL occurred last Sunday afternoon, when a player being paid lots of money for running with a football happened to score a touchdown.
Instead of jumping up and down in a genuine display of excitement, what he did was immediately lie down in the end zone, put the ball under his head and pretend to take a nap. Any connection that might have had to scoring a touchdown escapes me. And the network television announcer called it for what it was:
“I’ve never understood the absurdity of all the self-aggrandizing,” he declared. The following day, posts on a sports blog called the announcer a “baby,” a “weenie” and a “complete punk” for his observation.
Because pseudo celebrating has become as much a part of pro football as officials taking an hour or so to review “instant” replay and the final two minutes of a Sunday afternoon game lasting well past “60 Minutes.”
Players spiking the ball. Players dancing in the end zone. Players leaping into the seats behind the end zone. Players producing cell phones and Sharpies in the end zone.
Perhaps the ultimate in self-aggrandizement was displayed a few years ago by a player I’ll refer to merely as Mr. 85. After he scored a touchdown and his teammates rushed to the end zone to celebrate what wouldn’t have been possible if the blockers hadn’t blocked and the quarterback hadn’t thrown the ball perfectly, he held up his hand to stop them.
“Wait,” his gesture indicated, “I don’t want you guys getting between me and the television cameras while I do my little dance.”
It doesn’t even take a touchdown to produce a phony celebration. Defensive backs who have been beaten like a timpani all afternoon strut if they are lucky enough to knock down one pass. Running backs who spent most of the game under a pile of linemen at the line of scrimmage preen if they happen to stumble to a first down. Just about any accomplishment, no matter how routine, is accepted as an excuse for self-aggrandizement.
So now I’m going to disconnect my keyboard, lay it on the floor and pretend to take a nap.
Contact D.L. Stewart at dlstew_2000@yahoo.com
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