LIFE: Daryn Kagan column

Last week, Husband had a last second opening in his schedule. He immediately knew what he wanted to do.

“Let’s go visit Daughter in Arizona!” he declared.

This was a fabulous idea, indeed.

Except,

except,

I didn’t have the same freedom.

His work calendar might’ve cleared, but I was buried under mine. My podcast is about to launch this week and there were a ton of final details to take care of.

“I just can’t,” I told him.

“I think I’m going to go anyway,” he decided.

The idea was great in concept. It’s been too long since those two have had any kind of Dad-Daughter time.

“I’ll be gone Thursday to Monday,” he shared his itinerary.

That’s when it hit me.

I would be all alone here at the marsh for five days, including Mother’s day.

Cue my pout.

I took my disappointment to the place where it belongs, a phone call with my lifelong best friend.

“I’ll be all alone for five days plus Mother’s Day,” making sure she could hear the “Pity Party for One” sound in my voice.

Leave it to Bestie to instantly turn that frown around.

“Maybe that’s the gift,” she suggested.

Oh to be known better than I knew myself in that moment.

These days alone have been wonderful.

Just me and Pup.

I’ve blared my music.

A mix of Taylor Swift, the Wicked soundtrack, Country, Indigo Girls and Beyonce, if you must ask.

I’ve feasted on super spicy food that I would never cook for Husband because it would blow out his stomach.

And, I’ve been able to get all my work done without adjusting to someone else’s schedule.

Don’t get me wrong.

I truly love Husband and married life.

And,

And,

I had forgotten how much I also enjoy my alone time.

I share for you, Dear Reader.

You who also lost something recently.

You, who maybe didn’t have your Bestie offer the idea.

That maybe the loss is the gift.

The relationship that broke your heart, but wasn’t really serving you anyway.

The job you would’ve never left, but you’ve now been “let go” to go find a better fit.

There’s no doubt loss stings, hurts, the big ones bring us to our knees.

Many, most, perhaps, we would never pick.

Of course, there is some loss that is too enormous to consider such a thought, like the loss of a child.

But to say that all loss is bad.

Well, that would not be true.

Nothing like some time alone to get a new perspective.

What a beautiful Mother’s Day gift indeed.