I was incensed to read that some idiot splattered green paint on the Lincoln Memorial last week. I hope this is an isolated incident, but just to make sure, I suggest members of Congress grab their sleeping bags and take turns guarding Honest Abe. At least they’d be getting something done.
The Ohio State Buckeyes kick off their season in 34 days. Unfortunately for Urban Meyer, the biggest story leading up to the start of practice is the status of star running back Carlos Hyde. Did he hit a woman at a bar or didn’t he? Apparently depends on your definition of “hit.” Or maybe “slap” or “shove.”
My guess is that Meyer, who has to come off as a tough sheriff because of his look-the-other-way history at Florida, will extend Hyde’s suspension (and Bradley Roby’s) until mid-September. This will send a message to the players and build backfield depth. Besides, the Buckeyes really don’t need Hyde to navigate their joke of a nonconference schedule.
Loved the NASCAR trucks race at Eldora Speedway. The drivers knew they were part of something special, and I’m guessing it won’t take NASCAR another 43 years to return to its soiled roots. Austin Dillon took the checkered flag and grabbed a shovel to mine some souvenirs. He struggled with the hard-packed dirt; obviously the kid hasn’t done much yard work.
The only negative to the night was the long delay in removing a piece of errant sheet metal late in the race. The yellow came out with about 11 laps to go and the trucks crawled around the track for five or six laps. At least a Chevy won.
Pro golfer Hunter Mahan walked away from a 2-stroke lead after two rounds at the Canadian Open because his wife went into labor. Probably the smart move, but it had to be tough to walk away. First prize at the tournament is $1 million. That would buy a lot of diapers.
Speaking of golf and money, British Open champion Phil Mickelson had to hand over 60 percent of his recent overseas winnings (he also won the Scottish Open) to the tax men, including the ones in tax-happy California. Florida is one of seven states with no income tax, which might explain why so many athletes live there. Certainly can’t be the gators and snakes.
Speaking of athletes and babies, Minnesota Twins catcher Joe Mauer is a new father. His wife delivered twin girls. Of course she did.
Knucklehead of the Week
Brewers slugger Ryan Braun has been suspended for the rest of the season for using performance-enhancing drugs, costing him about $3.5 million. That stings, but what the disgraced Braun will regret for the rest of his days is what he said in 2012 after avoiding the PED police on a technicality: “I would bet my life that this substance never entered my body at any point.” What a dope.