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Ah (expletive)! Ohio declared ‘sweariest state in union’

Ohioans like their Buckeyes and bad words


(Expletives) and h.e. double hockey sticks!

Ohio’s rep as the cussiest of all states is spreading.

The Atlantic magazine declares Ohio the “Sweariest State in the Union” in an article published yesterday on its website.

(Expletive)!

This (expletive) should prompt those (expletives) down at that (expletive) state house to come up with a better (expletive) name for this (expletive) state.

Swear-hio has a rather (expletive) ring to it, doesn’t it?

Truth is that those sons of (expletives) at The (expletive) Atlantic need to get with the program and mother (expletive) times.

Those doe-eyed (expletives) based their entire story on the same (expletive) research my colleague Marc Katz told you (expletives) about during (expletive) National (expletive) Etiquette Week back in (expletive) May.

(Expletive)!

Read: (Expletive) WTH? Survey shows Ohioans swear the most in the country

Basically, this (expletive) research company called Marchex Data, an arm of the (expletive) ad firm Marchex, determined (expletive) Ohioans swear more than (expletives) from any other (expletive) state.

Everyone was like wholly (expletive) when the news first broke.

Those (expletives) at Marchex Data collected data from more than 600,000 (expletive) customer service phone calls made in that (expletive) (expletive) past year.

(Expletive) Washingtonians dropped F-bombs and other explosives the least during the calls placed by consumers to businesses across 30 industries.

Using “Call Mining technology,” Marchex scanned phone conversations for (expletive) naughty words. (expletive), (expletive) dang (expletive) and other bad words appeared once in every 47 conversations in Ohio.

That Call Mining technology gives me the (expletive) creeps by the (expletive) way.

Maryland, New Jersey, Louisiana and (executive) Illinois followed Swear-hio on the potty mouth list.

Massachusetts, Arizona, Texas and Virginia were behind Washington in keeping the conversation (expletive) PG.

I call (expletive) with Massachusetts being second least cusstastic.

I know some (expletives) from Massachusetts who swear up a (expletive) storm. (expletive)! Those bean-eating (expletives) could make a (expletive) sailor on a (expletive) motorcycle (expletive) his chaps.

Contact this columnist at arobinson@DaytonDailyNews.com or Twitter.com/DDNSmartMouth


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