The last person I expected to move onto our block

Leave it to my young teenaged daughter to succinctly describe a scene from the sitcom that is sometimes my life.

“That awkward moment when you discover your gynecologist is moving in next door,” she said as she slid down in horror in the front passenger seat of my car.

There is some teenager embellishment in that statement. My gynecologist of more than 15 years is not moving in next door. It’s more like 3 doors down.

I made this discovery as I was driving down the street the other day, kid in tow, and came upon two images I couldn’t quite put together in my head. There was the house that has been for sale for the last four months and standing right in front, holding a tape measure, was indeed, my gyno.

“What are you doing here?” I asked as I rolled down my car window.

“We’re buying this house!” he smiled with all the excitement of a new homeowner. “It’s exactly what we’ve been looking for.”

“Oh, wow, welcome,” I said. “Don’t know if you realize, but I live down the block. Oh, and that new patient I referred to your practice? She’s two doors down.”

“Great.” He seemed unfazed. “Like a satellite office.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my daughter sliding down in her seat.

“Awkward!” she declared as we drove away. “Do we need to move?”

Of course, when you’re 14, the very idea of the gynecologist is disgusting. Hey, the annual visit is hardly the highlight of the year for most of us big girls. Add to that, the idea that we will now have to pass his house in order to get to ours.

“He’s seen you ‘down there’ everyday!” she groaned.

“Not every day, just once a year,” I corrected, finding myself at one of those ongoing challenging moments we mothers of girls face.

Everything, it seems is a potential message about how we feel about our bodies. One misstep, the experts and blogs warn, and your kid is headed straight to an eating disorder.

“Don’t talk about hating your body,” they admonish. “Don’t talk about being fat or anything else negative concerning her body.”

Sometimes, this is a real challenge. After she downs her third blueberry muffin and hasn’t gotten up off the couch for any physical activity for weeks, I’m biting my lip or yes, saying something.

Where’s the line? Healthy body image vs. realistic and important health choices?

Fortunately, in the case of the new neighbor, I had a good answer.

“Parts is parts,” I said nonchalantly. “I don’t have anything ‘down there’ he hasn’t seen on thousands of women every single day for the last 30 years.”

Don’t give me too much credit. I’m not so progressive that I would start going to a gynecologist I knew first as a neighbor. But this particular doc is like gold. I’ve had his cell phone number for years. I can text him if I don’t feel well on a weekend or to refill a prescription. You know how rare that is? Even more rare than a good neighbor, which I’m sure he’s going to be. So feet in the stirrups once a year for the guy down the block it will be.

“Sure will make next month’s Block Party all the more interesting,” I joked to my daughter.

“You’re really weird,” she declared.

I smiled.

When your teen tells you, “You’re weird,” you know you must be doing something right.

Do you think the new neighbors will notice?

Reader Comments ...

Next Up in

How Dayton changed the Bombecks — and how the Bombecks changed Dayton
How Dayton changed the Bombecks — and how the Bombecks changed Dayton

Growing up in Dayton left an indelible imprint on Bill and Erma Bombeck – and they, in turn, now leave an enduring legacy in their hometown. Bill Bombeck died Jan. 12 in Phoenix, Ariz., and he soon will be buried alongside his wife in Dayton’s historic Woodland Cemetery. But the couple will live on in the hearts of many friends in the Dayton...
The Kid Whisperer: What to do about the child who cries, cries, cries

Dear Kid Whisperer, I’m curious about crying tantrums. We have a strong-willed 6-year old girl who cries about everything lately. She cries over us not buying a toy or what she eats for breakfast. I offer her a hug, tell her I am sad that she is sad and tell her that it’s too loud and we can’t hear each other. I am gentle and loving...
Parenting with Dr. Ramey: What’s dangerous about the Golden Rule

The Golden Rule advising that you should behave towards others as you’d like to be treated seems reasonable — but in fact, represents a dangerous and wrong way of thinking about the world. Lee Ross and his social psychology colleagues have called this blunder in thinking “naive realism.” Avoiding this error will make you a better...
D.L. STEWART: Real men wear short coats because being cold is cool

A letter writer to the chief fashion critic at The New York Times asked a question in last Tuesday’s edition. “My son is in college in Maine,” AMY, PELHAM, N.Y., wrote, “and the temperature is frequently below zero. It seems like every woman is swathed in an ankle-length black puffer coat from November to March. So why do men...
Coupon deals of the week
Coupon deals of the week

Coupon availability and coupon values may vary within different regions or neighborhoods. Irish Spring Body Wash This week at Rite-Aid, Irish Spring body wash is on sale for $3.99. In most of your Rite-Aid ad inserts, you should find a coupon for this product that will drop the price down to $1.99. Also, use the $1 off one Irish Spring body wash manufacturer...
More Stories