D.L. STEWART: Restaurants’ rules on kids provide food for thought

The story cooked up a few headlines with a soupçon of Internet controversy last week, but the strategy isn’t really new. Turning away customers who aren’t old enough to pick up the check has become popular in the last decade.

In 2011, a restaurant in Monroeville, Pa., barred kids under 6 because, the owners explained, the restaurant catered to golfers. Personally, I’d rather be in a roomful of screaming kids than golfers blabbing about bogeys.

In 2013 a sushi bar in Alexandria, Va., set its age limit at 18.

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In 2014, a restaurant on Fisherman’s Wharf in Monterey posted a sign that reads: “Children crying or making loud noises are a distraction to other diners, and as such are not allowed in the dining room.”

Last month, Mr. Boro’s Tavern in Springboro declared itself kid-free after 3 p.m., a policy that upset some parents. But it also drew support from others. ”Mr. Boro’s is our new favorite spot!,” one customer posted on the restaurant’s web site. “We don’t have to listen to howling children at 9 pm at night while we are spending $50 - $100 on dinner and drinks? What a concept, lol!!”

I’m not a big fan of restaurants filled with howling children, although I don’t find them nearly as annoying as restaurants filled with big-mouths on their cell phones. Or canned music blasted loudly enough to lower your IQ.

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Still, I think children should be considered well-mannered until proven otherwise. So instead of condemning all of them to a childhood of Happy Meals, maybe restaurants should penalize the parents of those who aren’t.

“Your kid was screaming, so that’ll be a 15 percent surcharge, sir.”

“Your child’s tantrum ruined the meal of the diners at the next table meal, so I’m presenting you with their bill.”

“Can’t keep your kids under control, ma’am? Well, then, I have no control over what the chef might put into that bowl of gazpacho you ordered.”

But for parents who still are too lazy, too inconsiderate or too self-absorbed to practice actual parenthood, put the whole family in a courtesy car and drive them all non-stop to the nearest Chuck E. Cheese.