You have reached your limit of free articles this month.

Enjoy unlimited access to SpringfieldNewsSun.com

Starting at just 99¢ for 8 weeks.

GREAT REASONS TO SUBSCRIBE TODAY!

  • IN-DEPTH REPORTING
  • INTERACTIVE STORYTELLING
  • NEW TOPICS & COVERAGE
  • ePAPER
X

You have read of premium articles.

Get unlimited access to all of our breaking news, in-depth coverage and interactive features. Starting at just 99c for 8 weeks.

X

Welcome to SpringfieldNewsSun.com

Your source for Clark and Champaign counties’ hometown news. All readers have free access to a limited number of stories every month.

If you are a News-Sun subscriber, please take a moment to login for unlimited access.

breaking news

Body found on New Carlisle bike path being investigated

When discussing marital counseling, stress importance


Q: Counseling is the only thing that can possibly save our marriage. My husband feels that our relationship is our business and not that of a stranger. I see little point in going by myself. I’m about to give him an ultimatum — either he attends therapy or we get a divorce. Do you have any suggestions for getting him to attend?

A: Threats are generally not an effective way to engage someone in therapy. Can you truthfully say something like this? “Our marriage is extremely important to me. I love you and really want to make this work. Things aren’t going well right now, and I’ll be meeting with a counselor every week to help figure out what to do. I hope you love me enough to attend and work on improving our relationship.”

Q: I just found out that my husband has been romantically involved with another woman for the past two years, and am overwhelmed with anger, guilt and depression. I’m getting a divorce but how do I explain the reason for the divorce to our kids?

A: Cheating on one’s spouse is a trust terminator, a violation of the most fundamental commitment that partners make in their marriage. However, be careful about making important decisions about your marriage while in the midst of such turmoil.

Give yourself some time to speak with your spouse, friends, clergy or perhaps a counselor to get some perspective and develop a plan that works for you. Some marriages survive these ordeals while others do not.

What you say to your children depends greatly upon their ages and what they know about what is going on. While you shouldn’t lie to your kids, you do have a right to keep some things confidential. Children will be most concerned about what will directly affect them, such as the impact of decisions on their school, friendships and style of living. Consider seeking the advice of a counselor for more specific direction.

Q: My 12-year-old wants to go to the mall with her friends. I think she is way too young and I see too much going on at the mall that concerns me. How do I tell her no when all of her friends are allowed to go?

A: You have to do what you feel is right for you and your child, not what is fashionable with others. Take some time to carefully communicate your concerns to your daughter. Look for a compromise that may be mutually agreeable, such as allowing her to spend some time at the mall while you wait in the food court. Help her understand the things she needs to do that would reflect positively on her maturity and thus allow her more privileges.

Next week: Is fighting among siblings really normal?


Reader Comments ...


Next Up in

Hershey getting health conscious, cutting chocolate calories by 2022
Hershey getting health conscious, cutting chocolate calories by 2022

The Hershey Co. is promising to make major changes in the calorie count of some of its chocolate snacks. The company announced last week that it wants to cut the calories in 50 percent of its standard and king-size confectionary snacks by 2022, and include easier-to-read nutrition labels on the front of 100 percent of its standard and king-size packaging...
101-year-old woman wins 100-meter dash at World Masters Games
101-year-old woman wins 100-meter dash at World Masters Games

She came. She ran. She conquered.  A 101-year-old woman from India won gold in the 100-meter dash at the World Masters Games in New Zealand. Man Kaur may have been the only athlete competing in her age division in the race, but she finished in 74 seconds. Not bad for someone who only started running at 96, according to Sports Illustrated. The...
Icons lost in one of Dayton’s most gut-wrenching murders 18 years ago 
Icons lost in one of Dayton’s most gut-wrenching murders 18 years ago 

This week marks nearly 20 years since the shocking death of one of the most dynamic and famous musicians in Dayton history.  Larry Troutman shot his brother and bandmate, talkbox pioneer Roger Troutman outside of Roger Troutman's Dayton music studio as part of a murder-suicide on April 25, 1999. Larry Troutman was later found dead...
When sending flowers just won’t do

Flowers. Don’t send them. My former colleague, Tim, lost his beloved Uncle Bill this week. People sent flowers. That’s what they do at times like these. Tim says don’t do it. Not because he didn’t adore his uncle. Oh, how he adored him. Still does. “He’s the man who influenced me to become a journalist,” he...
WASSO Kitchens Tour is Saturday
WASSO Kitchens Tour is Saturday

Some of Springfield’s hottest kitchens will welcome fans in this weekend. The 11th annual Women’s Association of the Springfield Symphony Orchestra (WASSO) Kitchens Tour will highlight five different spaces, 1-4 p.m. Saturday, April 29. The tour is a fundraiser with proceeds benefitting the Springfield Symphony Orchestra. “We&rsquo...
More Stories