We’ve heard of people going to great lengths for hot sex, but a Twitter user formerly known as@VersacePopTarts’
quest led him to a microwave and a ham-and-cheese lover.
VersacePopTarts (Thot Pocket) quickly became Internet famous after recently posting video evidence of his sexual conquest of a Hot Pocket brand pastry on Twitter and Vine, a video sharing site.
The 18-year-old seafood restaurant worker with questionable judgment explains why he did the horizontal tango with the unsuspecting flaky pastry in an interview with the website First We Feast.
His goal: he thought it was a fun way “just to (expletive) around and see what happens.”
The stunt quickly earned the New Hampshire resident 6,000 Twitter followers. That was on top of the 1,000 followers he got after having his way with a Pop Tarts box and posting video evidence online. He claims to have another account with 100,000 followers.
VersacePopTarts is far from the only person to have done it with a nonhuman.
Edwin Tobergta of Hamilton was sentenced to 11 months in prison in November after pleading guilty to a felony charge for having sex with a pool raft in public.
There are consequences to every action.
The unholy act of cheesy intimacy VersacePopTarts performed got him banned from Twitter, Vine and blocked by @hotpockets, according to the First We Feast article. Also, the video has been removed.
You cannot post an online video of yourself making a Hot Pocket a woman without drawing attention to yourself.
It wasn’t easy to pull off, it seems.
As VersacePopTarts explains in a Q&A with the site, he tried the to pleasure himself without a condom, but it “was just, like, way too hot.” He had to cool down his amore in the refrigerator.
Despite all the attention,VersacePopTarts doesn’t think this will be a big deal in the long run.
“Q: So do you regret putting your face out there?
A: I don’t really care. I haven’t gotten noticed in public yet. And I’m still young — I’m 18 — so it’s not like I’m gonna still look like this in three years.”
Thot Pocket has apparently not been warned about the importance of maintaining an unblemished social media life.
Let’s hope this whole thing doesn’t burn him in the end.