D.L. Stewart

D.L. Stewart has been writing his nationally-syndicated columns for Dayton Newspapers since 1975 and he plans to continue doing them until he gets one right. Some of his columns are humorous, some are insightful and he hopes his readers can tell the difference.D.L. (that's his actual legal name) is a native of Cleveland, a graduate of The Ohio University and a five-time Pulitzer Prize loser. He focuses on his family, the Cleveland Browns and other oddities of life.

Latest from D.L. Stewart

D.L. Stewart: The man who called Dayton ‘ugly’
 This not-necessarily-true assessment of the city in which I live recurred to me Saturday when I read the obituary of Harlan Ellison, who died at the age of 84.  Ellison was, The New York Times headline declared, a “Prolific, Irascible (Science) Fiction Writer.” The word “Science” was in parentheses because even...

Posted: 13 days ago

This not-necessarily-true assessment of the city in which I live recurred to me Saturday when I read the obituary of Harlan Ellison, who died at the age of 84.  Ellison was, The New York Times headline declared, a “Prolific, Irascible (Science) Fiction Writer.” The word “Science” was in parentheses because even...
D.L. Stewart: Around the world in 245 days … and $92,900
 If visiting every country in the world is one of your goals, you’d best get moving, because there are 193 of them (195 if you count Palestine and the Holy See). A good head start would be to sign up for the latest excursion offered by Viking Ocean Cruises. They’re calling it the Ultimate World Cruise. For 245 days, the Viking...

7:00 PM Tuesday, May. 15, 2018

If visiting every country in the world is one of your goals, you’d best get moving, because there are 193 of them (195 if you count Palestine and the Holy See). A good head start would be to sign up for the latest excursion offered by Viking Ocean Cruises. They’re calling it the Ultimate World Cruise. For 245 days, the Viking...
D.L. Stewart: Did you want extra tarantula on that hamburger?

4:00 AM Saturday, Apr. 21, 2018

When it comes to food, there aren’t a lot of things I won’t try. But I draw the line at eating any species I ever had as pets. There are some exceptions. Although as a child I briefly had a pair of rabbits given to me on Easter, I eventually bent the rule and sampled jugged hare on a trip to England. And I will order duck a l&rsquo...
D.L. Stewart: Sometimes 'fake news' is really fake news
 For over half a century as a journalist, I've defended my chosen profession against attacks from the right, the left and everywhere in-between. But it's not always easy.  On April 18, it was impossible.   "Twitter Users Shred Donald Trump Over Barbara Bush Tribute Typo," the early morning HuffPost headline declared...

4:26 PM Thursday, Apr. 19, 2018

For over half a century as a journalist, I've defended my chosen profession against attacks from the right, the left and everywhere in-between. But it's not always easy.  On April 18, it was impossible.   "Twitter Users Shred Donald Trump Over Barbara Bush Tribute Typo," the early morning HuffPost headline declared...
D.L. STEWART: Will my life be worth living without Facebook?

4:00 AM Saturday, Mar. 31, 2018

Facebook users are concerned about their privacy being violated. Their concern is so great that Mark Zuckerberg felt compelled to run full-page ads in major newspapers last Sunday apologizing for his company’s “breach of trust.” The ads were a clear indication of his concern for our privacy and they probably had nothing...
D.L. STEWART: Perfumers are cashing in on the sweet smell of nothing

4:00 AM Saturday, Mar. 24, 2018

The fickle fads of fashion never fail to mystify me. Untucked shirts for men? Partially untucked blouses for women? Unshaven cheeks for men? Pricy jeans that appear to have been run through a shredder for women? T-shirts and sneakers that sell for hundreds of dollars? And now I have a new puzzle: unscented perfume for women and men. As The...
D.L. STEWART: Avoiding ‘amazing’ yoga is no split decision for this guy

5:00 AM Saturday, Mar. 03, 2018

Lots of amazing things have originated in Japan: Toyotas. Sushi. Sudoku. Godzilla. But the latest “amazing” import from Japan has me nervous. It’s a book written by a yoga teacher promising that just about anybody can do the splits. Like most men, being able to do the splits is nowhere near the top of my list. In fact, when...
D.L. STEWART: New law may help keep Swiss lobsters out of hot water

5:00 AM Saturday, Feb. 24, 2018

Adding to its reputation as the most pacifistic of nations, Switzerland has outlawed lobster boiling. As reported this week in USA Today, a law that takes effect March 1 makes it illegal to plunge a live lobster into a pot of boiling water. Violators will be subject to up to three years in prison. The legislation was adopted as a result of...
D.L. STEWART: Is this new app the perfect answer to a wife’s questions?

5:00 AM Saturday, Feb. 17, 2018

After decades of producing apps that will do everything from locating your car to determining the ripeness of a watermelon, technology finally has come up with something useful. It’s an app called Echo Look that tells women how to dress. And while It’s been described as “essentially an Instagram husband for single ladies...
Building a chain that links us all together

9:46 PM Wednesday, Feb. 14, 2018

Listening to the politicians’ ongoing arguments over immigration, something occurred to me: If it had been illegal for immigrants to bring other family members to this country 100 years ago, there would be no me. Because I’m a byproduct of what’s being derisively called “chain migration.” The first link in the...
For Chief Wahoo, it’s time
 Now that Chief Wahoo is being forced into retirement after more than 70 years of faithful service, I’d like to say a few words in defense of the Cleveland Indians’ mascot. — His origin can be traced to Louis Sockalexis, a Penobscot Indian in honor of whom the Cleveland Naps changed their name to Indians in 1915. —...

7:47 PM Thursday, Feb. 01, 2018

Now that Chief Wahoo is being forced into retirement after more than 70 years of faithful service, I’d like to say a few words in defense of the Cleveland Indians’ mascot. — His origin can be traced to Louis Sockalexis, a Penobscot Indian in honor of whom the Cleveland Naps changed their name to Indians in 1915. —...