Nope, nope, nope.
An Oklahoma man got the shock of his life when he approached a friend's front door and received a painful greeting – a bite from an angry, 5-foot-5-inch snake.
Now, a doorbell video of the harrowing moment is going viral.
According to CNN, Jerel Heywood had just opened the screen door to friend Rodney Copeland's Lawton home Sunday when the reptile sprang from a porch light and attacked his face.
"Ow, [expletive]!" Heywood shouts in the video. "Take me to the hospital! Take me to the hospital! I just got bit by a snake."
Copeland and his wife were stunned. They rushed their friend to a local hospital, where doctors examined Heywood and prescribed him antibiotics, CNN reported.
"No stiches, thankfully," Heywood told the news outlet, adding that the snake was nonvenomous.
>> See the original video here (WARNING: Profanity.)
Copeland said a neighbor, armed with a hammer, removed the snake from the porch light and killed it.