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D.L. Stewart

D.L. Stewart has been writing his nationally-syndicated columns for Dayton Newspapers since 1975 and he plans to continue doing them until he gets one right. Some of his columns are humorous, some are insightful and he hopes his readers can tell the difference.D.L. (that's his actual legal name) is a native of Cleveland, a graduate of The Ohio University and a five-time Pulitzer Prize loser. He focuses on his family, the Cleveland Browns and other oddities of life.

Latest from D.L. Stewart

D.L. STEWART: America protests the loss of its sauce

Posted: 5 days ago

Children cried. Cops were dispatched to hold back angry crowds. Lawsuits we’re threatened. Boycotts were called for. America was in turmoil once again. And who could blame it? Because this has become a country without Szechuan sauce. Well, not exactly. There probably still is enough Szechuan sauce on the shelves of America’s supermarkets...
D.L. Stewart: ‘Baby on Board’ buttons may be a sign of the times
 Probably the most disturbing news item I read this past week that didn’t involve pro football concerned Baby on Board signs. The story wasn’t about those yellow signs that decorated the rear windows of cars a few decades ago — a phenomenon I never understood. What was I supposed to do, I always wondered, only have collisions...

Posted: 19 days ago

Probably the most disturbing news item I read this past week that didn’t involve pro football concerned Baby on Board signs. The story wasn’t about those yellow signs that decorated the rear windows of cars a few decades ago — a phenomenon I never understood. What was I supposed to do, I always wondered, only have collisions...
D.L. Stewart: First we’re hacked and then we’re hacked off

4:00 AM Saturday, Sep. 16, 2017

Millions of Americans are angry. After credit reporting service Equifax got around last week to mentioning, “Oh, by the way, 143 million of you Americans currently are at risk of having your lives financially ruined because we screwed up,” a lot of people got upset. But not necessarily as upset as they were when they heard the...
D.L. Stewart: THIS one’s the record to chase
 With people in the Far East wondering if the next North Korean missile might land on them, folks in Florida and the Caribbean still bailing water out of their living rooms and 143 million Americans hoping their credit rating isn’t hovering somewhere around zero, this may be the most trivial of issues. Still, my major concern today is...

7:14 PM Wednesday, Sep. 13, 2017

With people in the Far East wondering if the next North Korean missile might land on them, folks in Florida and the Caribbean still bailing water out of their living rooms and 143 million Americans hoping their credit rating isn’t hovering somewhere around zero, this may be the most trivial of issues. Still, my major concern today is...
Story highlights a painful choice for dog lovers

10:00 AM Sunday, Sep. 10, 2017

What do you say to people who subject helpless dogs to pain and death in the name of medical research? Do you say “stop it?” “Find another way?” “You’re horrible people?” The question arises as a result a recent story in the (Cleveland) Plain Dealer about controversial animal testing practiced at...
D.L. STEWART: Keeping up with the latest fashions can be tiring

4:00 AM Saturday, Sep. 02, 2017

Every so often my wife will survey the contents of my closet and decide that some part of my wardrobe needs to be replaced. Recently, for instance, she declared that my khaki slacks were “tired.” And they were out of style, because they had wide legs and pleats in the front. I have no idea how my pants got tired, because they...
A problem for the ‘too-much-stuff generation’
 Like most members of our generation, my wife and I have spent a lifetime accumulating stuff. We have walls covered with art work. Armoires stuffed with crystal, fine china and silverware. An attic filled with holiday trappings and photo albums. There’s not a flat surface in our house that isn’t littered with picture frames, candlesticks...

4:00 AM Saturday, Aug. 26, 2017

Like most members of our generation, my wife and I have spent a lifetime accumulating stuff. We have walls covered with art work. Armoires stuffed with crystal, fine china and silverware. An attic filled with holiday trappings and photo albums. There’s not a flat surface in our house that isn’t littered with picture frames, candlesticks...
D.L. Stewart: Finding the right TV show is a remote possibility

4:00 AM Saturday, Aug. 19, 2017

My wife and I spent an hour watching television the other night. Well, actually, we only spent half an hour watching — the first half hour was spent trying to find the program we wanted to see. Because, as a story in The New York Times last week declared, television today is a “hyper-fragmented mess with a jumble of on-demand...
D.L. Stewart: Some readers still try to mind their manners

4:00 AM Saturday, Aug. 12, 2017

The letter in The Washington Post this week seemed charmingly quaint, a throwback to an era in which men stood up and doffed their hats anytime a woman wearing long white gloves entered the room. “DEAR MISS MANNERS,” the letter began, “I find myself stunned at most people’s table manners. For example: breaking bread/rolls...
D.L. Stewart: Battling for bagels, Seinfeld-style

4:00 AM Saturday, Aug. 05, 2017

It’s like a scene from a sit-com. I’m at the Dayton area’s newest bagel shop ordering take-out. Tuna sandwich for my wife, pastrami on rye for me, a bowl of matzo ball soup to share. As the young man behind the counter prepares the sandwich, I mention that I also want to order half a dozen bagels to take home. “Is...
D.L. STEWART: Posh places for pampered pooches

4:00 AM Saturday, Jul. 29, 2017

When we had our Yorkie I always felt a bit self-conscious – OK, silly – about how we pampered him. Leaving the television tuned to Animal Planet when we went out for the evening. Cutting his food into little pieces. Letting him sleep in our bed, even though I never understood how an eight-pound dog could take up two-thirds of...