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D.L. Stewart

D.L. Stewart has been writing his nationally-syndicated columns for Dayton Newspapers since 1975 and he plans to continue doing them until he gets one right. Some of his columns are humorous, some are insightful and he hopes his readers can tell the difference.D.L. (that's his actual legal name) is a native of Cleveland, a graduate of The Ohio University and a five-time Pulitzer Prize loser. He focuses on his family, the Cleveland Browns and other oddities of life.

Latest from D.L. Stewart

D.L. STEWART: Cavs’ LeBron James stars both on and off the court
 If you’re going to pick a sports hero for your children to admire, it’s best to do it carefully. For years after I met him I talked about what a cool guy O.J. Simpson was; I can’t do that anymore. A former sportswriting colleague once wrote about a famous pro football player, calling him “my kind of guy.” His...

Posted: 5 days ago

If you’re going to pick a sports hero for your children to admire, it’s best to do it carefully. For years after I met him I talked about what a cool guy O.J. Simpson was; I can’t do that anymore. A former sportswriting colleague once wrote about a famous pro football player, calling him “my kind of guy.” His...
D.L. STEWART: Museum aims for success with failures
 Encouraged by Erma Bombeck, several years ago I produced a calendar based on columns I had written featuring my stepcat. Erma assured me it would be an easy money-maker. And why not? Lots of people love felines, which is just about the only explanation why “Cats” lasted all those years on Broadway and refused to just curl up and...

Posted: 12 days ago

Encouraged by Erma Bombeck, several years ago I produced a calendar based on columns I had written featuring my stepcat. Erma assured me it would be an easy money-maker. And why not? Lots of people love felines, which is just about the only explanation why “Cats” lasted all those years on Broadway and refused to just curl up and...
D.L. STEWART: Trying to picture a painting that’s worth $110.5 million
 As someone whose taste in paintings begins and ends with dogs playing poker, I couldn’t be less qualified to comment on the latest big news in the art world. Still, I’m entitled to my opinion, as ill-informed as it may be. So my comment on the sale last week of a painting for $110.5 million is: “Wait … WHAT?&rdquo...

Posted: 19 days ago

As someone whose taste in paintings begins and ends with dogs playing poker, I couldn’t be less qualified to comment on the latest big news in the art world. Still, I’m entitled to my opinion, as ill-informed as it may be. So my comment on the sale last week of a painting for $110.5 million is: “Wait … WHAT?&rdquo...
D.L. Stewart: In search of some understanding

Posted: 26 days ago

An open letter to ISIS and Al Qaeda: Once again an act of terror has snuffed out innocent lives. And, once again, I don’t understand. What is it that groups like yours want? What are your goals? And what do they have to do with blowing up adolescent girls at a concert in England? I’ve done some research in an attempt to understand...
D.L. STEWART: Some schools serve kids a tray full of shame

4:00 AM Saturday, May. 20, 2017

With all due respect to baseball, America’s national pastime these days seems to be “shaming.” There’s body shaming and slut shaming, single shaming and animal shaming. A front page box on last weekend’s edition of USA Today even referred to “Mom shaming,” citing the 78 percent of Millennial moms...
President Kim Kardashian? You can bet on it
 If you missed the Kentucky Derby, don’t know enough about basketball to wager on the NBA playoffs and wouldn’t waste two bucks betting on the Cleveland Browns winning more than one game next season, here’s another option: You still can bet on whether Donald Trump will convert to Islam. The odds against that are 50-1, according...

4:00 AM Saturday, May. 13, 2017

If you missed the Kentucky Derby, don’t know enough about basketball to wager on the NBA playoffs and wouldn’t waste two bucks betting on the Cleveland Browns winning more than one game next season, here’s another option: You still can bet on whether Donald Trump will convert to Islam. The odds against that are 50-1, according...
Accordionist’s death squeezes out musical memories
 Despite the earnest efforts of my mother, I never learned to play a musical instrument. When I was in elementary school, she had me take piano lessons. After just six months, I had mastered “Hot Cross Buns.” But the lessons ended when the teacher determined I was physically incapable of playing with more than one finger at a time...

4:00 AM Saturday, May. 06, 2017

Despite the earnest efforts of my mother, I never learned to play a musical instrument. When I was in elementary school, she had me take piano lessons. After just six months, I had mastered “Hot Cross Buns.” But the lessons ended when the teacher determined I was physically incapable of playing with more than one finger at a time...
African-American Museum is worth waiting for
 WASHINGTON — It’s a project frequently referred to as “100 years in the making.” But if your travel plans include a visit to the National Museum of African American History and Culture, be prepared to wait a while longer. The next tickets become available online May 3 at 9 a.m. — for admission in August. Since...

1:12 AM Wednesday, May. 03, 2017

WASHINGTON — It’s a project frequently referred to as “100 years in the making.” But if your travel plans include a visit to the National Museum of African American History and Culture, be prepared to wait a while longer. The next tickets become available online May 3 at 9 a.m. — for admission in August. Since...
D.L. STEWART: Enjoying Major League Baseball by the numbers

4:00 AM Saturday, Apr. 22, 2017

In the latest example of fascinating Major League Baseball statistics, studies show that a 29-year-old centerfielder saves an average of four fewer runs per season than a 28-year-old centerfielder, The New York Times reported this week. While you may wonder why a prestigious newspaper would use valuable space to report stuff like that, baseball...
D.L. STEWART: Just ‘plane’ carried away at the doctor’s office

4:00 AM Saturday, Apr. 15, 2017

Last week, I was experiencing some chest pains, so I called my doctor to schedule an appointment. Normally I wouldn’t worry about stuff like that, but it’s probably better to be safe than sorry now that I’m approaching middle age. As it turned out, my doctor was out of town and wouldn’t be back for a week. But his...
D.L. STEWART: Restaurants’ rules on kids provide food for thought

4:00 AM Saturday, Apr. 08, 2017

In a highly competitive industry, a restaurant in North Carolina boosted its business by turning away customers. After numerous complaints at the restaurant in Mooresville when parents refused to turn down the volume of their daughter’s iPad, the family was asked to leave. Now Caruso’s no longer welcomes diners under the age of...