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D.L. Stewart

D.L. Stewart has been writing his nationally-syndicated columns for Dayton Newspapers since 1975 and he plans to continue doing them until he gets one right. Some of his columns are humorous, some are insightful and he hopes his readers can tell the difference.D.L. (that's his actual legal name) is a native of Cleveland, a graduate of The Ohio University and a five-time Pulitzer Prize loser. He focuses on his family, the Cleveland Browns and other oddities of life.

Latest from D.L. Stewart

D.L. Stewart: Finding the right TV show is a remote possibility

Posted: 3 days ago

My wife and I spent an hour watching television the other night. Well, actually, we only spent half an hour watching — the first half hour was spent trying to find the program we wanted to see. Because, as a story in The New York Times last week declared, television today is a “hyper-fragmented mess with a jumble of on-demand...
D.L. Stewart: Some readers still try to mind their manners

Posted: 10 days ago

The letter in The Washington Post this week seemed charmingly quaint, a throwback to an era in which men stood up and doffed their hats anytime a woman wearing long white gloves entered the room. “DEAR MISS MANNERS,” the letter began, “I find myself stunned at most people’s table manners. For example: breaking bread/rolls...
D.L. Stewart: Battling for bagels, Seinfeld-style

Posted: 17 days ago

It’s like a scene from a sit-com. I’m at the Dayton area’s newest bagel shop ordering take-out. Tuna sandwich for my wife, pastrami on rye for me, a bowl of matzo ball soup to share. As the young man behind the counter prepares the sandwich, I mention that I also want to order half a dozen bagels to take home. “Is...
D.L. STEWART: Posh places for pampered pooches

Posted: 24 days ago

When we had our Yorkie I always felt a bit self-conscious – OK, silly – about how we pampered him. Leaving the television tuned to Animal Planet when we went out for the evening. Cutting his food into little pieces. Letting him sleep in our bed, even though I never understood how an eight-pound dog could take up two-thirds of...
D.L. STEWART: Older folks may answer the TV remote when the phone rings, but at least we can add

4:00 AM Saturday, Jul. 22, 2017

People of a younger generation can, and do, poke fun at their elders’ fumbling attempts to cope with modern technology. I do it all the time, although that’s getting a lot harder, because I don’t have as many elders as I used to. When you need an easy laugh, you can’t go wrong joking about mom trying to Skype or grandpa...
Today’s heroic movies raise lots of super questions
 First off, I don’t understand why people call him “Spidey.” They don’t call Superman “Supey.” Or Batman “Batty.” And yet just about everybody, up to and including a headline in The New York Times about the latest Spider-Man movie, referred to the adolescent superhero as “Spidey.&rdquo...

11:03 AM Monday, Jul. 17, 2017

First off, I don’t understand why people call him “Spidey.” They don’t call Superman “Supey.” Or Batman “Batty.” And yet just about everybody, up to and including a headline in The New York Times about the latest Spider-Man movie, referred to the adolescent superhero as “Spidey.&rdquo...
D.L. STEWART: Taking over the world, one drone at a time

4:00 AM Saturday, Jul. 01, 2017

We have survived attempts to take over the world by everyone from Nazis to commies to yuppies. But do we still have enough fortitude left to outlast Jeff Bezos? When Bezos recently announced plans to buy Whole Foods for $13.7 billion, or whatever he happened to have in his pocket at the time, my stepson declared it was all part of a plot...
D.L. Stewart web exclusive: Politics shouldn’t happen to a dog
 The American political picture just keeps getting uglier. A mock-up of a severed head of the president of the United States displayed by a comedian. A Donald Trump look-alike slain, Julius Caesar-style, in an updated Shakespeare play. An aging pop singer suggesting the White House should be blown up. And now, comparing political figures to...

7:22 PM Monday, Jun. 26, 2017

The American political picture just keeps getting uglier. A mock-up of a severed head of the president of the United States displayed by a comedian. A Donald Trump look-alike slain, Julius Caesar-style, in an updated Shakespeare play. An aging pop singer suggesting the White House should be blown up. And now, comparing political figures to...
D.L. STEWART: Cavs’ LeBron James stars both on and off the court
 If you’re going to pick a sports hero for your children to admire, it’s best to do it carefully. For years after I met him I talked about what a cool guy O.J. Simpson was; I can’t do that anymore. A former sportswriting colleague once wrote about a famous pro football player, calling him “my kind of guy.” His...

4:00 AM Saturday, Jun. 17, 2017

If you’re going to pick a sports hero for your children to admire, it’s best to do it carefully. For years after I met him I talked about what a cool guy O.J. Simpson was; I can’t do that anymore. A former sportswriting colleague once wrote about a famous pro football player, calling him “my kind of guy.” His...
D.L. STEWART: Museum aims for success with failures
 Encouraged by Erma Bombeck, several years ago I produced a calendar based on columns I had written featuring my stepcat. Erma assured me it would be an easy money-maker. And why not? Lots of people love felines, which is just about the only explanation why “Cats” lasted all those years on Broadway and refused to just curl up and...

4:00 AM Saturday, Jun. 10, 2017

Encouraged by Erma Bombeck, several years ago I produced a calendar based on columns I had written featuring my stepcat. Erma assured me it would be an easy money-maker. And why not? Lots of people love felines, which is just about the only explanation why “Cats” lasted all those years on Broadway and refused to just curl up and...
D.L. STEWART: Trying to picture a painting that’s worth $110.5 million
 As someone whose taste in paintings begins and ends with dogs playing poker, I couldn’t be less qualified to comment on the latest big news in the art world. Still, I’m entitled to my opinion, as ill-informed as it may be. So my comment on the sale last week of a painting for $110.5 million is: “Wait … WHAT?&rdquo...

4:00 AM Saturday, Jun. 03, 2017

As someone whose taste in paintings begins and ends with dogs playing poker, I couldn’t be less qualified to comment on the latest big news in the art world. Still, I’m entitled to my opinion, as ill-informed as it may be. So my comment on the sale last week of a painting for $110.5 million is: “Wait … WHAT?&rdquo...