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D.L. Stewart

D.L. Stewart has been writing his nationally-syndicated columns for Dayton Newspapers since 1975 and he plans to continue doing them until he gets one right. Some of his columns are humorous, some are insightful and he hopes his readers can tell the difference.D.L. (that's his actual legal name) is a native of Cleveland, a graduate of The Ohio University and a five-time Pulitzer Prize loser. He focuses on his family, the Cleveland Browns and other oddities of life.

Latest from D.L. Stewart

D.L. STEWART: Tired of the daily grind? Talk to your gadget!

Posted: 4 days ago

Because walking across a room or tapping on a keyboard requires way too much energy, technology is providing exciting new solutions to rescue us from the brink of our daily exhaustion — digital assistants. As the Associated Press reported this week, “From your couch you, you can now ask the Echo’s Alexa assistant to play...
D.L. STEWART: A problem for the ‘too-much-stuff generation’

Posted: 11 days ago

Like most members of our generation, my wife and I have spent a lifetime accumulating stuff. We have walls covered with art work. Armoires stuffed with crystal, fine china and silverware. An attic filled with holiday trappings and photo albums. There’s not a flat surface in our house that isn’t littered with picture frames, candlesticks...
D.L. STEWART: Getting on board for some family time together
 On the day after Christmas, my 13-year-old grandson asked, “Grandpa, want to play this new board game I got?” I couldn’t have been more surprised if he’d said, “May we have Brussels sprouts for dinner tonight, please?” Because in my experience the current crop of 13-year-olds does not play board games....

Posted: 18 days ago

On the day after Christmas, my 13-year-old grandson asked, “Grandpa, want to play this new board game I got?” I couldn’t have been more surprised if he’d said, “May we have Brussels sprouts for dinner tonight, please?” Because in my experience the current crop of 13-year-olds does not play board games....
D.L. STEWART: Sometimes a song is just a song

Posted: 25 days ago

In the current atmosphere, no man in his right mind would make light of sexual misconduct. Nor should we. Still, it’s tough to ignore the “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” controversy that has been raging for years … even though I didn’t know it had been raging for years until last week. Until then, the only thing...
D.L. STEWART: She hails “kale,” but he craves “pizza”

5:00 AM Saturday, Dec. 09, 2017

In her well-intentioned, but largely futile, campaign to make me “eat healthy,” my wife took me to a new eatery for lunch the other day. (“Eatery,” by the way, is the fashionable word for places where you shuffle along on one side of a counter while servers on the other side of the counter force you to select from...
D.L. STEWART: Shaken, but not stirred, by current cocktail concoctions

5:00 AM Saturday, Dec. 02, 2017

My wife and I went to a fancy restaurant recently and decided to have a cocktail before dinner. When I asked the server for the drink menu, she handed me a list that consisted of 10 choices. Not only had I never heard of any of them, I had no idea what a lot of the ingredients were. One drink called a “Gin & It & Juice,” for instance...
D.L. STEWART: The road to Heaven may not be paved with iPhones

5:00 AM Saturday, Nov. 25, 2017

The most egregious example of cellphone addiction, I always thought, was the video of the bride who pulled her phone out of the bodice of her dress to answer it — while the ceremony was being conducted. Now I’m not so sure. Based on a recent story in the New York Times, it could be the woman who used her iPhone to order a pair...
D.L. STEWART: ‘Last class’ creates plenty more room for concern

5:00 AM Saturday, Nov. 18, 2017

Boarding an airplane is traumatic for me. It has nothing to do with a fear of flying. I’ve managed to put that in the back of my mind, although any time there are 10 or more consecutive seconds of turbulence it vaults to the front of my mind. My concern is walking through the first class or business section and looking down on the passengers...
D.L. STEWART: Turkey with purple grain roasted beets? No thanks

5:00 AM Saturday, Nov. 11, 2017

America’s values once again are under attack. The customs that made this the greatest country on Earth are threatened. Our very existence as a nation is imperiled. In other words, people are messing with Thanksgiving again. For most of our history, Thanksgiving has been a holiday beloved by real Americans for its no-nonsense menu &ndash...
D.L. STEWART: You can just call me the Grandpa National Bank

4:00 AM Saturday, Nov. 04, 2017

A recent article in this newspaper alerted readers to the fact that senior citizens are especially vulnerable to scams. The story listed ways for them to avoid being bilked, including monitoring bank accounts, freezing credit reports and screening fraudulent phone calls. But if seniors really want to keep their retirement funds lasting as...
D.L. STEWART: America protests the loss of its sauce

4:00 AM Saturday, Oct. 14, 2017

Children cried. Cops were dispatched to hold back angry crowds. Lawsuits we’re threatened. Boycotts were called for. America was in turmoil once again. And who could blame it? Because this has become a country without Szechuan sauce. Well, not exactly. There probably still is enough Szechuan sauce on the shelves of America’s supermarkets...