It’s Go-Time in our house once more.

Time to go to school. Time to go to work. And time to go to the potty on the potty.

I know; I know … this topic has been overused. But at this stage in life, my brain is currently stuck in Potty Training Mode.

It’s a constant, nagging thought in the back of my mind: “She’s almost three. Buck-up lady! Get her some new undies and a case of carpet deodorizer.”

Four of us from our family of five have this task mastered. The remaining one is proving to be a difficult conquest.

This is round 3 of Operation Flush. Throwing in the (wet) towel is not an option this time, as the first day of preschool is looming … and we are out of diapers.

The boys are in school most of the day. Daddy is busy working. It’s just my daughter and me.

The stand-off begins (cue Western movie score):

“It’s time to be a Big Girl. No more diapers. No more excuses.”

“No.”

“You cannot wear diapers to pre-school.”

“OK.”

What? Really? It was always that easy? Then why are we on our third attempt at this? Oh, yeah, that’s right: Mommy is lazy. Diapers are easier than running to the bathroom for a false alarm in the middle of grocery store … twelve times.

“Girls are easier than boys to potty-train!” they say.

“Great! Thank you, experts! Now come on over to my house.”

My mother would object to what the “experts” say. She had to bribe me with a trip to Florida before I gave a … uh, poo … about using the toilet.

I’m not beyond bribery myself at this point. There is a cute new baby doll perched atop our refrigerator I plan to reward my daughter with when she finally gives a poo about using the potty.

This week I have lost at least five pounds just running back-and forth between the bathroom and the laundry room. I’ve used an entire jug of bleach. The motor on the carpet cleaner is burned out. The furniture is draped in old towels. And I wake myself up at night muttering, “Do you need to use the potty?”

But every minute we are home, the Princess is wearing big girl pants. However, in the car? Uhm, no … not yet. At night? Well, not quite …

But we will get there. We’ve not given up yet and I can’t give up on her. As frustrating as it is to clean up yet another mess, she is not a baby anymore.

When this training is finished, we will be a diaper-free household … and you won’t have to read about it anymore.

I can then branch out from writing about this all-consuming task to more important things: like the coming Binky Intervention.