Children never affected Melissa Stamper the same way they did many of her friends. Though fond of kids, Stamper said she can spend time around them without yearning for some of her own.

“I have nephews and nieces, and I love them dearly, but it’s not like when I’m with them I feel I have to have one,” the 43-year-old West Carrollton resident said.

Stamper, who is recently single and works at Good Samaritan Hospital, rejects the notion that children are crucial to strong marital relationships and long-term happiness.

She said her life is no less complete because she lacks children.

Stamper is one of a growing number of women to reach their early 40s without having biological children.

Almost 20 percent of American women between the ages of 40 to 44 do not have biological children. It is a significant increase from the 1970s when about 10 percent of women in their early 40s were childless, a recent Pew Research Center report found.

Researchers say many factors explain the trend, including improved contraceptives, better job opportunities for women and the physical inability of many women to have kids. But the rise in childlessness also corresponds with shifts in social attitudes about the importance of child-bearing as it relates to marriage.

Many couples “do not feel a child is something that will make them happier or more fulfilled, so they might focus on other things that make them happy or fulfilled, like their careers or a hobby,” said Laura Scott, author of “Two is Enough: A Couple’s Guide to Living Childless by Choice.”

A 2007 Pew Research Center survey found only 41 percent of respondents felt that children are “very important” to a successful marriage. In 1990, about 65 percent of survey respondents indicated that children were crucial for a marriage to succeed.

Scott, who started the Childless by Choice Project, said while researching her book she surveyed many deliberately childless women. Her survey found the vast majority of them in committed relationships and they said they do not want kids because they lead happy, fulfilling lives that children will not improve.

Scott said some people view such attitudes as self-centered, but it is a silly objection.

“People often call the childless by choice selfish. It’s funny because selfish to me implies a victim. I don’t know who is being victimized here,” Scott said. “Maybe you are denying your parents a grandchild, but that is the only thing I can think of.”

J.J. Kunkle, a Bellbrook resident who turned 40 this month, said she and her husband, Mark Mankins, adore their active, outdoorsy lifestyle and relationship, and kids would not really fit into the picture.

Kunkle, who decided in her 30s that she did not want children, is quitting her job with Greene County Children Services to start her own fitness and nutrition company, The Fit Life.

Kunkle said she would be unable to embark on a risky business venture and continue to participate in “kid-inappropriate” outdoor activities, such as spelunking, if she were a mother.

“We don’t need children to have a fulfilling marriage,” Kunkle said. “It is very fulfilling the way it is.”

Kunkle, who has a bachelor’s and master’s degree from Ohio University, said her hard work in and out of school also helped her decide against having offspring.

“That has something to do with it, because you don’t go to school and pay off all of those loans to stay home and raise kids — you do it because you have some career aspirations,” she said.

Women with higher levels of education are more likely to be childless, but even among less educated women, childless rates have increased since the 1990s, according to the Pew Research Center’s report.

About one in four women between the ages of 40 to 44 with bachelor’s, master’s or professional degrees are childless.

Comparatively, about 15 percent of women who did not finish high school and 17 percent of female high school graduates are childless by their 40s.

Many advocates of remaining childless by choice tout the economic freedom maintained by not having kids.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture in June released a report estimating that raising a child through the age of 17 on average costs about $222,360. That estimate does not include costs of post-secondary education.

Despite the costs and sacrifices, women like Tequilla Washington say their children are worth it.

Single mother Washington, a 35-year-old supervisor who worked with Kunkle at Greene County Children Services, said her daughters, Sydney, 11, and Sophia, 5, are at the center of her universe and a constant source of joy.

“They are my life,” she said. “Every decision I make is with them in mind.”

Washington said she finds plenty of time to devote to her romantic life, studies and career. She said the juggling act is not always easy, but she always loved children and decided to have some of her own.

“It all depends on what you want and what goals you set,” she said. “They were part of my life plan.”

Contact this reporter at (937) 225-0749 or cfrolik@DaytonDailyNews.com.