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Woman struggles with secret affair

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By Cheryl Lavin 12:08 AM Thursday, January 26, 2012

Diane’s affair with Eddie began shortly after he got married. It was “on and off in the beginning.”

“We were always attracted to each other, and the relationship developed into an easy friendship.”

As time went on, Diane became a born-again Christian, and the relationship ended. Still, they remained friends and would call each other on their birthdays to see how they were doing.

Eddie’s wife passed away last February, and, in March, he contacted Diane. “I was overwhelmed with grief for his loss, and I offered him my condolences. I told him if he ever needed to talk, it would be all right for him to call me.”

Eddie called shortly after that, telling Diane he was feeling “a little stir crazy” and wanted to come over. “I was prepared to let him talk out his grief, but when he arrived he wanted to do no such thing. He started telling me how long it had been since he’d had sex. I told him that I thought it was too soon for him to begin another relationship. But by the beginning of April, we were in this whirlwind romance. I loved every minute of it, until I realized that I was still a secret and a booty call, the same as I’d been when he was married.”

Their affair lasted four months. “I could no longer tolerate how treated me as though I was still the other woman, coming over at bed time, leaving early in the morning, never including me in his holiday plans. He never introduced me to his friends or relatives. Where did I fit in? I didn’t.”

Diane wrote Eddie a letter, ending the relationship. He called to say she had low self-esteem and no interests other than sex. He said he never wanted to see her again.

“I tried to invite him to dinner, so we could talk, but he said he wouldn’t have dinner with me, ever. He said when he’s through with someone, he’s through.”

And then Eddie said something very revealing. He said he stopped speaking to his uncle because his uncle moved a woman into his house six months after his wife died. He married her a year later.

“Is that crazy or what? I don’t see how that story related to us.”

Diane ended the call by telling Eddie she’ll always love him. Eddie’s been true to his word. He hasn’t contacted her.

She thinks the problem is that Eddie never grieved properly for his wife. I couldn’t disagree more.

I think the problem is that in Eddie’s mind, Diane was, is and always will be a booty call. He has a strict moral code for everyone but himself, and she doesn’t live up to it, anymore than his uncle and his uncle’s wife.

That’s what I think. Readers, what do you think?

What were your best, worst and funniest first dates? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems  and rants to cheryllavinrapp gmail.com.

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