News Summary

URBANA — Last week, I learned of an unconventional sentence that Judge Susan Fornof-Lippencott imposed on a defendant found guilty of violating Urbana's anti-noise ordinance.

The defendant was ordered to pay fines and court costs or listen to 20 hours of orchestral or symphonic music in lieu of some of the fees.

Fornof-Lippencott told me she has been levying similar punishments for many years. She said the person found guilty checks in with the probation department, which oversees the penalty and makes sure it is served. She did not know exactly what music was available for the listening (dis)pleasure of those who choose a tempo instead of time. This policy could be called, "Your money or my music."

Since classical music was "my" music in college, I have some suggestions of appropriate orchestral music.

The intent of the judicial system needs to be taken into account in order to truly make the punishment fit the crime. If the lesson to be learned is how distasteful it is to listen to music you don't want to listen to, try Arnold Schoenberg's atonal "Transfigured Night opus 4" or Paul Hindemith's "Mathis der Maler Symphony." "Le Sacre du Printemps" by Igor Stravinsky could easily equate with the discordant base of a throbbing woofer.

If getting someone to recognize volume Tchaikovsky's "1812 Overture" complete with the cannon and bells could offend the most abused ears. Beethoven's "Ninth Symphony," with full orchestra and chorale, lasts more than an hour and reduces the number of selections required to complete 20 hours.

A little Wagner ("The Flying Dutchman" or "The Ride of the Valkyries") could permanently push an offender off the classical music cliff. Brahms' "Double Concerto in A Minor" or Mahler's "Symphony No. 5" could put offenders to sleep, negating the time spent with headphones.

For liveliness, Vivaldi's "Four Seasons," Tchaikovsky's "Capriccio Italien," Rimsky-Korsakov's "Capriccio Espagnol" or Rossini's "William Tell Overture" are some of my favorites.

The defendant in this case, an Urbana University student who was ticketed for playing rap in his car, listened to classical music for 15 minutes and decided to part with his money rather than the listening time. To each his own. I might take the same option if forced to listen to country-western.