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Young kids having security object should not cause alarm, experts say
Comment: What's your advice?
Related: Mom calls truce in the war of the 'Paci'
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
It's not uncommon to see a young child clinging for dear life to a soft fuzzy "lovey" or even sucking madly on a pacifier.
In fact, it is quite common and even considered a normal part of child development.
Extras
A study in 2000 showed that in the United States, about 60 percent of children had a mild degree of attachment to a security object.
"The way they (babies) are soothed from birth to about six months is by the sucking reflex," said Dr. Misti Grimson, pediatrician at the Rocking Horse Center in Springfield.
"Actually in the beginning, pacifiers aren't all bad. There has been a study that showed that kids that take pacifiers at night from that zero to six months have a decreased incidence of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS)."
However, Grimson said although she relays the benefits, she never recommends starting a pacifier because it's just one more habit to break.
"Between 4 and 6 months (of age), children start to have separation anxiety," Grimson said.
Grimson said that a transitional object, such as a blanket or soft object, can help ease that anxiety.
"It helps ease the transition into being a separate person."
Security objects, or transitional objects, had a bad rap until recently. It was considered unhealthy for a child to become attached to an inanimate object. It was said to depict an unhealthy relationship between mother and child or a time of stress for the child.
Many times the security object was taken away.
Grimson said security and rituals, such as bedtime routines, are very important at a young age and not necessarily bad.
"Whether it's (having a security object) a red flag for true difficulties, I wouldn't say so," Grimson said.
Dr. Becky Violet, a psychologist practicing in Springfield, agrees.
"Adults have their attachment objects, too. What about your favorite sweatshirt from when you went to school or something of your mother's or father's ... aren't those comfort objects? But somehow it's OK as adults to have these things that reassure us that we're connected to someone who loves us," Violet said.
Violet said she would become concerned about the child and his attachment object only when other areas of their behavior are being affected.
"With children, it's a lot about environment. It's more than just this behavior, this attachment. Maybe this child has a different kind of temperament. Maybe you need to go that extra mile in terms of reassuring him," Violet said.
Violet recommends that parents and caregivers look at their own behavior, noting that children may react to something as simple as a schedule change and may need additional reassurance.
"Our rigid expectations may be more about us and adjustments we need to make until they get to the next stage. If we harp on it, it may become more damaging to the parent-child relationship than it may be worth," she said.
"If there is something so simple as a piece of blanket or a stuffed animal that can reassure and make your problem go away — even if it's temporary — that's pretty amazing."
Violet said giving up a lovey is an emotional milestone for a child, stating it is a "developmental task" the child must solve.
"It is temporary," she said.
Grimson advises simple behavior modifications for helping a child learn to be less dependent on his "lovey" as he matures, although each child and what works is different.
"Other people don't know your child. There are developmentally delayed children who need transitional objects until they're 8. Your job as a parent is to be an advocate for your child and to try your best to assess the child's need and make the decisions at the appropriate times," Grimson said.
"If you're making slow progress, you're making slow progress and it's better than no progress."
Contact this reporter at (937) 328-0356 or dmjordan@coxohio.com.
Comments
By Lindsey
March 19, 2008 10:21 PM | Link to this
My son was given his “binkie” from the hospital, against my will. Being a firs time mother, I was hesitant to take it away. I finally got tired of him being dependant on it to be happy. So by a year, it was gone. I also got rid of the bottle as well. It is easy once you figure out that you can do it. Your child won’t remember “being traumatized”, you will. That is why you don’t want to give it up. I was the same way. In the words of NIKE, just do it. It won’t be as bad as you think.
By An Older Mother
March 19, 2008 7:08 PM | Link to this
Don’t worry too much about it. My 2 1/2 year old has a pacifier and a blankie and she sleeps good at night. I remember having potty training problems with my son who is now almost 12. He wasn’t potty trained until he was 4 years old. I look back fondly on those days now. And 10 years from now, you will also wish you had these problems again.
By Chris
March 19, 2008 3:52 PM | Link to this
My son also had his paci till he was over 2 1/2. He wanted a batman for Christmas that year. We explained to him that was a big boy toy and he’d have to give up his baby paci if that was what he really wanted. When we went to visit Santa at the mall, he gave his paci to a confused looking Santa. Needless to say, Santa brought Batman that Christmas and we have lived a happy, peaceful life. It was HIS CHOICE to “trade in” the paci. Maybe he could trade it in with the Easter Bunny!?! Good Luck
By Michelle
March 19, 2008 12:45 PM | Link to this
Dr. Misti sees my son and she is wonderful. I was lucky enough for my son to get rid of his pacifier and bottle all by himself.
By MR A
March 19, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this
Let him keep the paci, keep it until our health department and some special interest group gets wind of this and declares it a child endangering issue, mental health type. Won’t supprise me to see a issue on the next ballot. BINKIE BAN, issue what ever. Since bans are so popular these days. You can bet there will be a 4 million dollar investigative follow up, they call it research and developement, then the ban will be passed only allowing binkie’s to be used in your home, not in public.