SpringfieldNewsSun.com

ENON — When he's devouring General Tso's chicken like a wampa at an all-night tauntaun buffet, Paul Grandinette obviously isn't listening to that little voice in the back of his head.

To make his weight-loss plan work, though, he doesn't need a little voice — dude needs James Earl Jones.

"I just like to eat food," Grandinette confessed.

As a certain dark lord of the Sith might say, "I find your lack of faith disturbing."

But at the Grandinette home in Enon, there's only one Sith lord right now — wife Kim.

"I've lost, like, 20 pounds and two sizes," she beamed.

"Him," she added, "not so much."

The Grandinettes, you might recall, were featured on "Dr. Phil" in January during a show about collections that easily could be mistaken for compulsive hoarding.

Kim Grandinette thought she might publicly shame Paul into parting with his 6,000-piece "Star Wars" memorabilia collection.

Didn't work.

"He's gotten more crap than I've seen in my entire life," she complained recently.

The cornerstone of his collection, however, remains a custom-built, $1,800 stormtrooper costume that, tragically, didn't fit his 330-pound frame once he ordered it.

After the couple appeared on "Dr. Phil," Anytime Fitness in Springfield took pity and offered the Grandinettes a free membership for a year, specifically so Paul could fit into the plastic costume.

He vowed he'd be wearing it by October.

"Next October sounds a little more promising," he said.

Hey, in a perfect world, we'd all have the metabolism of Jawas.

"I think I can get the arm pieces to fit maybe," Paul, 25, explained. "I can wear the helmet around."

Chinese takeout aside, he thinks he's eating a little better. He's down to around 318.

But he hates exercise about as much as the rest of us hated Jar Jar.

"I'd rather have bamboo shoots stuck up my fingernails," he said.

The more he works out, though, the more muscle he seems to pack on — which then becomes like a Gamorrean guard trying to squeeze into Princess Leia's metal bikini.

"All of my muscles bulked me up even more," Paul grumbled.

But trying to fit into a stormtrooper outfit might be the least of his worries right now.

Since the "Dr. Phil" appearance, the toy collection apparently has exploded like an Ewok caught under the foot of an AT-AT walker.

He even has enablers now.

When their mailman, of all people, read that Paul needed the "blue" Snaggletooth to complete his collection of 1977-83 action figures, the sympathetic civil servant gave him one.

"I can deal with it some days," Kim said. "Other days, I just want to burn it. I'm half-hoping my house burns down."

Ouch.

Their marriage might not actually be on the rocks — but to an outsider, it sure sounds like it's frozen in carbonite.

Paul has a suggestion that might be a win-win for both of them.

"Maybe I should sell all my 'Star Wars' stuff," he pondered, "and pay for a liposuction."

Contact this reporter at (937) 328-0352 or amcginn@coxohio.com.