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Where can I find information about programs in my community to help me with the caregiving task?

The Eldercare Locator can connect you with a broad range of services in your community, such as transportation, home-delivered meals, legal services, social opportunities and respite care. Call 800-677-1116, 9 a.m. and 8 p.m. (Eastern), weekdays. Additionally, your area agency on aging is a good place to start.

We're thinking about nursing home care, but it may be months-even years-away. Should I start looking now?

Yes. Many of the best facilities have long waiting lists. Starting now gives you a head start on research and allows you to involve your loved one.

My mother has several health care providers and is on different medications. How do I find out about possible drug interactions?

Put all the medications in a sack and take them to your pharmacist or one of the prescribing physicians. Or make a list of each medication to share with these professionals. (In either case, be sure to include nonprescription drugs and herbal/natural remedies.) Provide each health care professional with a list of medications your loved one is taking. And use one pharmacy so the pharmacist maintains a complete record of all the prescribed medications.

Should I join a caregiver's support group?

A support group can provide you with an opportunity to talk with other people who are dealing with many of the same caregiving issues. These groups not only provide a safe place to receive emotional support; they can also be a good resource for caregiving strategies. You can learn from other people's successes and mistakes.

My father doesn't like me to bathe him, but he won't take a bath on his own. What should I do?

Most people don't need a daily bath. A sponge bath will often suffice. When you do have to bathe him, respect his modesty. Cover him with a towel, and remember to keep the bathroom and water temperatures at a comfortable level.

I don't see how I can get everything done. What should I do?

Don't be afraid to ask family and friends for help. Ask for ongoing assistance, such as having a friend of your mother's take her shopping once a month. List all the tasks that need to be done, and ask each volunteer to commit to one task. You can also look into hiring someone to help with caregiving duties. See if there is a support team or care team network in your area or church or through an end-of-life local coalition. Visit The Support Team Network's website at www.supportteam.org.

How is hospice care different from care provided in a hospital or nursing home?

Hospice is a concept of care designed to provide comfort and support to individuals (as well as their family and friends) who have a life-limiting illness that no longer responds to curative treatment. Hospice is not intended to prolong life or hasten death, but rather to improve the quality of the patient's remaining life by offering comfort (control of pain and discomfort) and dignity. Hospice also focuses on the emotional, social and spiritual impact of the illness on the patient as well as his or her family and friends. Hospice offers grief counseling before and after the death. About 80 percent of the time, hospice care is provided in the home or nursing home.

My mother has become incontinent. Do we just need to live with it?

No. About 80 percent of incontinence can be helped with various treatments available for loss of bowel and bladder control. It's important that you don't accept incontinence as inevitable. Much depends on the cause and how aware and alert your mother is. Ask your health care professional about which course is appropriate. In the interim, reminding your mother to visit the toilet every couple of hours can minimize the problem.