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COMMENTARY

McGinn: Halloween costumes for pets? No thanks

McGinn

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By Andrew McGinn, Staff Writer 4:51 PM Thursday, October 22, 2009

Not too long after rescuing a stray cat — Worst. Humanitarian Move. Ever. — I bought a leash for him.

Uh-huh.

Go ahead.

I’ll wait a second while you laugh.

But in my defense, I bought this so-called “cat leash” in the actual pet section of a fairly well-respected store.

It should’ve been in with the hand buzzers and that gum that makes your mouth turn all black because the joke clearly was on me.

Can you actually walk a cat?

We’d never owned a cat, so I envisioned us all taking nightly walks.

Um. Yeah.

I put the leash on him — that in itself about cost me one of my own lives — and then he just flopped over and started chewing on it.

Walk over.

So for the life of me, I don’t have a clue how people can stuff their cats (and dogs even) into semi-ridiculous Halloween costumes.

I see that the local PetSmart once again hosted its annual “Howl-O-Ween” event earlier this week, and 100 pet owners showed up with their dogs and cats decked out in costumes.

I once tried to give this same cat of mine a bath after he’d escaped the house and got all muddy underneath our porch.

Well, it probably didn’t help that I’d turned the garden hose on him in a failed attempt at flushing him out.

But, as I soon learned, giving a cat a bath is a two-person job.

When it was all over, I looked like I’d just been attacked by a puma.

So to try to put this beast into a Batman costume for a photo op at PetSmart? I like the flesh on my arm right where it is, thank you very much.

And this particular cat has only back claws, too.

As for a cat we had with all of his claws — Second. Worst. Humanitarian Move. — all I can say is this.

Always put a shirt on before you agree to hold the cat while your wife trims his talons — er, nails.

No, talons. My nipple felt like the crappie in an osprey’s clutch.

As you can probably gather, I’m not all that big of an animal lover.

I know that’s practically sacrilegious in this age of pampered pets.

But some nights, I have a nightmare in which I’m Noah, trapped on the ark with two of every animal ever created and no lint roller.

We now have events like the one at PetSmart at which pets play dress up.

Churches have “pet blessings.” I’m not about to take either of our cats because I don’t think it’d help.

People now assume it’s just OK to take their dogs everywhere.

The Summer Arts Festival. The antiques show at the fairgrounds.

And the bigger and scarier they look, the more the owner insists they’re actually not.

“Oh, he’s harmless!”

Sure.

Just keep your distance.

People now spend hundreds on junk for their pets.

The cat leash comes to mind.

A generation ago, a cat was something that just ran around the barn at night, never to be seen.

Growing up, we always had a dog, but the dog was just the dog. He wasn’t like my four-legged brother.

And I don’t think my parents ever considered Sniffy or Spud to be like a son. But had they, at least one of us would’ve been housebroken.

And so pets have become people.

And I probably look like a bigger jerk than I actually am.

After all, I’m the guy who, after our one cat was facing a $250 dental bill earlier this year, pleaded to my wife that, “We can get a whole new one for 50 bucks.”

That’s what you call doing the math — something I obviously didn’t do when I somehow agreed to that first stray.

I mean, these things can live for 20 years.

It’s like a student loan, only it poops in a box in my basement.

Contact this reporter at (937) 328-0352 or amcginn@coxohio.com.

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sometimes a pet is the closest family someone has. when i was child far away from home i had a poodle that helped preserve my sanity while i was among strangers in a strange place. looking for someplace to live that would accept my pet resulted in me finding a friend who would eventually save my life. so, sometimes dogs (cats, too) can become more than pets; and who knows, maybe some can even be angels in disguise. Angel costumes on cats & dogs, anybody??

MissBeasley
3:59 PM, 10/25/2009

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Cats that are not declawed do pose some risk on a leash. If they do become startled they can attack whatever is closest to them such as the walker's leg or arm (arm:if you're bending over to comfort the feline). I know this to be so from personal experience. I survived and I still love cats...but not leashes.

FelineFine
11:17 AM, 10/23/2009

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Re:"And, it is possible to train your cat to walk with you without a leash. In college I met a psychology professor with 17 cats. She would take walks with them on a path through the woods on her large rural property. They wandered a bit exploring while they walked, but they all walked with her! I personally witnessed this."

And we wonder why we have so many nut-cases in this country! Because those who are trained in "nut-case-ology" are nuts themselves.

Ang
11:01 AM, 10/23/2009

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I am NOT a cat lover. They're cute when they are kittens -nuff said. But we have had them living with us in years past and I agree, Andy ... one must be fortified to bathe them. YOWL. I also sat in the parking lot at PetSmart the other day and watched the loving parents walk their pooches into the store. I had to admire them. I can't even get my two dogs to stand still for me to dry them off after coming in out of the rain.
You go guy! This was a great story.

Cats - no, Dogs - yeah
10:29 AM, 10/23/2009

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Great article! McGinn you're on a roll keep it up!

ima laughing
10:19 AM, 10/23/2009

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