Girls Gone Wild coming to Springfield

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By Andrew McGinn, Staff Writer Updated 10:51 AM Thursday, December 17, 2009

To borrow a line from Albert King, if it wasn’t for bad luck, Chuck Harris wouldn’t have no luck at all.

The neophyte promoter has staged three big events in two years — a country music festival at Rei Lakes, a concert to honor veterans this past Independence Day and then, last month, something he called the “Springfield Homecoming Festival,” which, you might have heard from a friend of a friend who heard about it from somebody else, was held under the Spring Street overpass.

Three events.

An unholy trinity of disaster.

The Titanic, the Hindenburg and, for the mere idea of holding a festival under a bridge, a yet-to-be named future disaster of unspeakable horror. Something akin to a massive asteroid strike that would blot out our sun for 1,000 years.

To be honest, after my last (in a line) of columns on Chuck, written before Homeless Fest (the bridge thing), I fully expected that to be it.

Surely, I thought, I’ll never hear from Chuck Harris again.

Surely, I figured, Chuck Harris will think about finding a new hobby.

“I did,” he explained a few days ago, “for about a week. Then, a new game plan.”

He’s baaaaaack.

But this isn’t the same Chuck Harris and his Springfield Entertainment Group. It can’t be.

This Chuck Harris has an event this weekend that, in all likelihood, will be filled to capacity with a line out front.

He’s had people from out of town — out of state even — buy advance tickets.

Chuck Harris, it would seem, took a trip down to the crossroads.

He’s bringing Girls Gone Wild to the Night Gallery Lounge on Mitchell Boulevard in Springfield Saturday, Nov. 21 (scroll down to find out how to go).

Buck Creek will run in reverse, the statue of George Rogers Clark will bleed from the eyes and even more crows than usual will descend on the city — all because Chuck Harris sold his soul to the devil.

“I’ve sold more advance tickets to this than anything I’ve done,” Harris marveled. “The irony is that skin sells.”

And, yes, this is the same Girls Gone Wild whose infomercials liven up cable at 5 in the morning, with nubile (if not flat-out wasted) coeds gleefully lifting their tops for the camera.

Here’s the deal, though — Mitchell Boulevard is an awfully long way from South Padre Island.

“I don’t know what Springfield’s got to offer,” Harris confessed.

But like all things in the Chuck Harris universe, there’s a twist.

His Rei Lakes concert was an affront to Springfield Twp., whose trustees made a stink about zoning issues.

The Homecoming Festival was held under a bridge because the city of Springfield wouldn’t let him use City Hall Plaza.

And now he’s up against God.

In addition to Girls Gone Wild, Harris has booked Todd Agnew, Rush of Fools and Meredith Andrews for a Dec. 11 local concert.

They’re contemporary Christian acts.

“I’m kind of like Santa Claus,” Harris joked. “I try to spread the joy to everyone.”

It’s fitting that Harris would liken himself to that pagan idol.

He believes his Todd Agnew concert is in trouble all because of Girls Gone Wild.

“A lot of these pastors are telling their congregations, no, don’t go to this concert because you’re supporting a guy who’s bringing in this pornography,” Harris said.

Harris wants to use a moneymaker like Girls Gone Wild to pay down some of his debts and pay for future events.

Future Christian concerts even.

“I’ve given so much, I’ve sacrificed so much, just to put those events on for people,” Harris said. “I can’t get the support because I’m not in this little, so-called city clique. So I have to go the route of making money. I’m going to make up everything I’ve lost and tell them to kiss my (expletive).”

But he’s found a sympathetic ally in Joe Chapman, pastor of Freedom Road Community Church, whose Sunset Avenue church has agreed to host the Agnew concert next month after two previous venues bailed.

Chapman has heard talk of a boycott by local Christians — one fellow pastor even contacted him personally about it.

“If we as Christians turn our back on Chuck,” Chapman reasoned, “what is he going to be motivated to do? More events like Girls Gone Wild.”

Contact this reporter at (937) 328-0352 or amcginn@coxohio.com.