Skyline Chili ranked worst in nation, called ‘abominable garbage-gravy’


I’d be the first to admit I am very far from Skyline Chili’s biggest fan, but

Deadspin.com’s food writer Albert Burneko bashing of the regional favorite is crazeballs.

Burneko ripped Skyline (and all of Ohio really) a new one in his piece outlining the best “regional foodstuffs.”

In his colorful rant, Burneko says Cincinnati-style chili rips whoever eats it a new one.

Cincinnati chili is the worst, saddest, most depressing goddamn thing in the world. If it came out of the end of your digestive system, you would turn the color of chalk and call an ambulance, but at least it’d make some sense. The people of Ohio see nothing wrong with inserting it into their mouths, which perhaps tells you everything you need to know about the Buckeye State. Don’t eat it. Don’t let your loved ones eat it. Turn away from the darkness, and toward the deep-dish pizza,” he concluded.

Burneko ranks Skyline in ‘Ohio place,’ which is behind ‘being hit by a car place.’

He also finds it more revolting than, and these are his words, “Not having any authentic local culture to speak of (Nevada)” and “a f$%king steamed f#$king cheeseburger (Connecticut).”

“The only thing “chili” about it is the shiver that goes down your spine when you watch Ohio sports fans shoveling it into their maws on television and are forced to reckon with the cold reality that, for as desperately as you might cling to faltering notions of community and universality, ultimately your fellow human beings are as foreign and unknowable to you as the surface of Pluto, and you are alone and always have been and will die alone, a world unto yourself unmarked and unmapped and totally, hopelessly isolated,” he wrote.

Really?

Umm… really!

In my personal opinion is Skyline Chili the greatest thing since sliced bread dipped in olive oil and Parmesan cheese? No.

But is it “abominable garbage-gravy?”

Heck no.

Skyline is OK enough and I understate why people who grew up eating it love it so much.

It is sweet. It is carby. It is comfort food.

Skyline was aware of Burneko’s less than elegant prose.

“After 64 years, we feel fortunate to be able to serve up coneys and ways to our loyal customers and we look forward to doing that for many years to come,” Sarah Sicking, director of marketing for Skyline Chili, said in a statement.

Burneko ranked Chicago-style deep dish pizza as the No. 1 regional food in America, which says a lot about his creativity.

Deep dish pizza is very good… but come on, buddy, it is far from the best.

The whole thing leaves me wondering if a girl from Ohio - a Skyline Chili employee perhaps - called

Burneko a ‘poo poo stinky head’ or something.

Contact this blogger at arobinson@DaytonDailyNews.com or Twitter.com/DDNSmartMouth


Reader Comments ...


Next Up in Springfield Entertainment

Country music mourning the passing of legendary Nashville producer Billy Joe Walker 
Country music mourning the passing of legendary Nashville producer Billy Joe Walker 

The country music community is mourning the passing of legendary producer, musician and songwriter Joe Walker Jr., who passed away earlier this week at the age of 64. According to CMT, Walker had been in poor health for some time. The native Texan was in Kerrville at the time of his passing in the early morning hours of July 25.. As a producer, Walker...
What Lifehouse told us before their big weekend concert at Rose Music Center 
What Lifehouse told us before their big weekend concert at Rose Music Center 

For rockers Lifehouse, 2017 continues to be an extended season of change. After a hiatus for solo projects and family time, the band is back with a new “Greatest Hits” album and its first tour is six years. Wade: “We’re all like 37 or 38 now, and we started out when we were teenagers — so we just needed a break. You can...
Commentary: 30 years ago Dalton brought danger to Bond
Commentary: 30 years ago Dalton brought danger to Bond

Ask a random person to name actors who played James Bond and you’ll likely hear Sean Connery (the first and many say still the best), Daniel Craig (the current), Roger Moore (who played Bond 007 times) or Pierce Brosnan (004 times) most often. Much less expected would be George Lazenby, who played 007 once in 1969’s “On Her Majesty&rsquo...
Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsey joined the hunt for pythons in Florida, bagging three snakes
Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsey joined the hunt for pythons in Florida, bagging three snakes

Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay joined the fight against Florida’s invasive Burmese pythons recently, cooking up his catch on a levee near where one of the snakes was found. The Emmy-nominated chef tagged along with one of the South Florida Water Management District’s python hunters, catching three snakes in western Miami-Dade...
What ever happened to WHIO’s famous tower? 
What ever happened to WHIO’s famous tower? 

For more than six decades, a metal landmark towered over Dayton and transmitted news into thousands and thousands of homes in the Miami Valley.  Today, a chunk of the WHIO broadcast tower dedicated in 1949 is on display at Dayton History at Carillon Historical Park.  It helps tell the story of the entrepreneur, governor, newspaperman and...
More Stories