When one thinks ‘sexy food,’ one does not think of chicken.
That’s until now… maybe.
“Fifty Shades of Chicken: a Parody in Cookbooks" (Clarkson Potter, $20) shows the kinky side of one of America’s tastiest birds.
The dirty little cookbook’s name is a play on the hit erotic trilogy Fifty Shades of Grey by England’s E. L. James.
The book by F.L. Fowler is narrated by a so-called unexplored young chicken.
Here’s a passage:
Are you a vegetarian? I blurt before I can stop myself.
He draws a sharp breath. I am mortified beyond words. Double (expletive).
Why can’t I keep my head on for once? My agonized subconscioius begging me on bended knee to stop gabbling.
“No Chicken, I am not.” He cocks his head to one side and stares cooly at me. He is not amused. I cringe. I feel the blood drain from my entire body.
“I’m sorry,” I stammer, “it just popped out.”
Oh, and there are recipes. None is called Chicken Cordon Bleu.
Dishes include Hot Rubbed Hen, Mustard Spanked Chicken, Cock au Vin, Chicken Strip Tease, Blushing Parts, Erect Chicken, Happy Ending Chicken, Hog-Tied and Porked Chicken….
You get the picture.
Whipped cream, osyters , chocolate, strawberries, etc.
What is your favorite ‘sexy food'?
Contact this columnist at arobinson@DaytonDailyNews.com or Twitter.com/DDNSmartMouth