You have reached your limit of free articles this month.

Enjoy unlimited access to SpringfieldNewsSun.com

Starting at just 99¢ for 8 weeks.

GREAT REASONS TO SUBSCRIBE TODAY!

  • IN-DEPTH REPORTING
  • INTERACTIVE STORYTELLING
  • NEW TOPICS & COVERAGE
  • ePAPER
X

You have read of premium articles.

Get unlimited access to all of our breaking news, in-depth coverage and interactive features. Starting at just 99c for 8 weeks.

X

Welcome to SpringfieldNewsSun.com

Your source for Clark and Champaign counties’ hometown news. All readers have free access to a limited number of stories every month.

If you are a News-Sun subscriber, please take a moment to login for unlimited access.

Fifty Shades of Chicken: You have never seen a sexy chicken this hot


When one thinks ‘sexy food,’ one does not think of chicken.

That’s until now… maybe.

Fifty Shades of Chicken: a Parody in Cookbooks" (Clarkson Potter, $20) shows the kinky side of one of America’s tastiest birds.

The dirty little cookbook’s name is a play on the hit erotic trilogy Fifty Shades of Grey by England’s E. L. James.

WATCH: Ryan Gosling in ‘50 Shades of Grey?’

The book by F.L. Fowler is narrated by a so-called unexplored young chicken.

Here’s a passage:

Are you a vegetarian? I blurt before I can stop myself.

He draws a sharp breath. I am mortified beyond words. Double (expletive).

Why can’t I keep my head on for once? My agonized subconscioius begging me on bended knee to stop gabbling.

“No Chicken, I am not.” He cocks his head to one side and stares cooly at me. He is not amused. I cringe. I feel the blood drain from my entire body.

“I’m sorry,” I stammer, “it just popped out.”

Oh, and there are recipes. None is called Chicken Cordon Bleu.

Dishes include Hot Rubbed Hen, Mustard Spanked Chicken, Cock au Vin, Chicken Strip Tease, Blushing Parts, Erect Chicken, Happy Ending Chicken, Hog-Tied and Porked Chicken….

You get the picture.

Whipped cream, osyters , chocolate, strawberries, etc.

What is your favorite ‘sexy food'?

Contact this columnist at arobinson@DaytonDailyNews.com or Twitter.com/DDNSmartMouth


Reader Comments ...


Next Up in Springfield Entertainment

Burt Reynolds to auction replica 'Smokey and the Bandit' Trans-Am
Burt Reynolds to auction replica 'Smokey and the Bandit' Trans-Am

Remember the iconic muscle car driven by Burt Reynolds in the kitchy yet classic 1977 movie Smokey and the Bandit? Who wouldn't want to own a Trans-Am just like it? Bidders will get their chance Friday at an auction in Arizona, MSN Autos reports.  A listing for the Barrett-Jackson sale in Scottsdale shows a Pro-Touring Firebird...
Report: Jennifer Holliday pulls out of Trump inauguration concert
Report: Jennifer Holliday pulls out of Trump inauguration concert

Holliday retweeted The Wrap's report on her Twitter account.In a letter addressed to "my beloved LGBT community," Holliday explained why she initially accepted the invitation to perform at the inauguration, saying she wanted to perform for the people, not for Trump. But after a vocal backlash, Holliday has decided not to perform.  According...
Children remember your words for the rest of their lives

“Parentspeak - What’s Wrong with How We Talk to Our Children — and What to Say Instead” by Jennifer Lehr (Workman, 276 pages, $14.95) We’ve all seen it. And heard it. In public places, watching parents interact with their children, what’s being said and done. Heck, maybe they were your own kids and you are evaluating...
Clark State Theatre Arts to hold auditions for ‘The Clean House’
Clark State Theatre Arts to hold auditions for ‘The Clean House’

The Clark State Community College Theatre Arts Program will hold auditions in January for their spring production of The Clean House by Sarah Ruhl. The Clean House centers around Matilde, an aspiring comedian, who has come to “metaphysical Connecticut” via Brazil to clean the home of Lane and Charles, but instead secretly works on developing...
'The Exorcist' author William Peter Blatty dies at 89
'The Exorcist' author William Peter Blatty dies at 89

Author William Peter Blatty, who wrote the best-selling horror novel, "The Exorcist," has died at the age of 89.
More Stories